First time on this blog?

Who are Freedon, Sarah, Macky Rae, and Reba? They are my little dogs!
If you are new to this blog, click here to read the introduction.


 photo recycled_electrons_zps05d2a378.gif


Regarding any typos you may find in this blog:
Currently, I am using the computer at the library to write and publish this blog. In addition to the spellcheck on their computer, there is a spell checker on the blog-host's server - and the two programs are arguing with each other, and sometimes one or both corrects my typing, even when it doesn't need to be corrected.

Saturday, May 31, 2014

Cigarettes, Whiskey, Wild (Wild) Women, and Clown Shoes

 photo Joe-Camel_zps31720fcf.jpg Cigarettes


You know who I miss?

Joe Camel.

If you ask me, the reasons R.J.Reynolds was forced to fire him (or what ever they did to him) was wrong. The accusation, in case you don't remember, was that Joe Camel, being a cartoon character, encouraged underage smoking.
Seriously? If a child decides to smoke because a cartoon camel smokes, he needs help. And probably shouldn't be watching TV.
 photo dancingcig_zps7a9ddcd8.jpg
The dancing cigarettes always
nice legs.


If you are old enough, you might remember when cigarettes could be advertised on TV. They banned them (the ads) in the 70s. They were rather artsy in there way. My favorite were the dancing cigarettes.

And here's one you will love:Winstons were advertised on The Flinstones back in the early 60s. Not only did children see a cigarette commercial during a cartoon (albeit during "Family Hour"), but check out the ad:



And you thought Joe Camel was bad? And there were several of these!

 photo reagan_zps8ade0d6c.png
Before he entered politics, our 40th
president was an actor (most of you
knew that). He smoked Chesterfields.
He was also (then) a democrat.

Whiskey

June 1st in International Whiskey Appreciation Day. You won't find it on your calendar. It was a holiday that was invented by my Uncle Theo.
I've mentioned him a few times on this blog. And I will again.
It was on June 1st that the first documented record of Whiskey occurred. It was on this day in 1494 that The Rolls of the Royal Exchequer recorded:
To Friar John Cor, by order of the King, to make aquavitae, VIII bols of malt”.
Aquavitae is Latin for "water of life". In Gaelic, this would be  "uisge beatha", which was anglicized into "whiskey."
So everyone go out and have a shot of Whiskey on the first.
There is always a reason to Party. This month has a few: Flag Day, Father's Day, My Birthday, D-day, etc. There is also Doughnut Day (6th) and Bourbon Day (14th) and Martini Day (19th).

When I was in the military, we were always celebrating something. Groundhog's Eve was popular (that would be the evening of February 1st) and a few other goofy days - like Fri Day and Satur Day (popular drinking holidays in the military). It's easy to find something to celebrate, and if you are just not creative, there are websites that have reasons for every day.
One (out of many) is Party Excuses dot com.

 photo raquel_zpsd95927b9.jpg Wild Women

This is a picture of Raquel Welch. She played Loana in One Million B.C. (1940).


She was hot. She still is.


I will cover "Wild Women" in a future blog entry. The really need an entry by themselves.


Clown Shoes

 photo clown-shoes_zpse810966e.jpg
"Clown Shoes"
How do "clown shoes" fit in with cigarettes, whiskey and wild (wild) women?
They Don't.
But I am implementing a new program for Facebook (or I guess any other social media). Any time someone blindly shares and/or reposts something that makes them look foolish, I will award them "Clown Shoes"
For example: Anyone who reposts anything to do with the Government sticking computer chips in our butts as part of Obamacare will receive the Clown Shoe Award.
And everyone is invited to join in. All you need to do is cut and past the following URL into the comment box of the offending post, and then hit enter. The award, along with the Clown Shoe picture, will appear under the post.





Cigarettes and Whiskey
(spoken:) A preachment, dear friends, you're about to receive,
on John Barleycorn, nicotine, and the temptations of Eve...
(sung:)
I once was happy and I had a good life
I had enough money to last me for life
I met with a gal and we went on a spree
She taught me to smoke and to drink whiskey.
Chorus: Cigarettes and whiskey and wild wild women
They'll drive you crazy they'll drive you insane.
Cigarettes and whiskey and wild wild women
They'll drive you crazy they'll drive you insane.
Cigarettes is a blot on the whole human race.
A man is a monkey with one in his face.
That's my definition, believe me dear brother,
A fire on one end and a fool on the t'other.
[Chorus]
Write on the cross at the head of my grave
To women and whiskey here lies a poor slave
Take warning dear stranger, take warning dear friend.
They'll write in big letters these words at my end.
[Chorus]
Hallelujah brother.

Thursday, May 15, 2014

Cinco De Mayo (Dogs Say the Darnedest Things)

¿Quién dejó los perros?  
Woof, woof, woof, woof, woof
¿Quién dejó los perros?  
Woof, woof, woof, woof, woof
¿Quién dejó los perros?  
Woof, woof, woof, woof, woof
¿Quién dejó los perros?  
   




SARAH: Why are we listening to the Spanish station?

FREEDOM: Because we are celebrating Cinco de Mayo.

SARAH: Why are we doing that?

FREEDOM: Because we are part Chihuahua.

SARAH: So?

¿Cuánto cuesta ese perrito en la ventana  
El que mueve la cola  
¿Cuánto cuesta ese perrito en la ventana  
Espero que los del perrito para la venta. 
FREEDOM: That makes us Hispanic.

SARAH:  We're part Pomeranian too. Why don't we ever celebrate any Pomeranian holidays?

FREEDOM: Are there any Pomeranian holidays?

SARAH: Why ask me? I don't even know where Pomerania is. Do you?

FREEDOM: Europe, I think.

SARAH: That's helpful.

FREEDOM: Maybe Macky knows.

SARAH: Where is he?

FREEDOM: In the other room, playing on the computer.

SARAH: Macky! Where is Pomerania?
MACKY: How should I know?
SARAH: Look it up on Google.
MACKY: It is in northwestern Poland.
SARAH: OMG! Do you know what that means?

FREEDOM: What?

SARAH: That means we are Pollocks!
MACKY: How many Pomeranians does it take to change a light bulb?
SARAH: You're not funny!
 

Sangria

One of my favorite drinks to serve with Tex-Mex food, or barbecue, is sangria.

Sangria normally consists of wine, chopped fruit, a sweetener, and a small amount of added brandy. Chopped fruit can include orange, lemon, lime, apple, peach, melon, berries, pineapple, grape, kiwifruit and mango. A sweetener such as honey, sugar, syrup, or orange juice is added. Instead of brandy, other liquids such as Seltzer, Sprite or 7 Up may be added.

Ingredients:

  • 1 750 ml bottle of red wine (Cabernet Sauvignon, Merlot, Rioja reds, Zinfandel, Shiraz)
  • 3 cups of club soda
  • 1 Orange cut into wedges
  • 1 Lemon cut into wedges
  • 2 Limes cut into wedges
  • 2 Tbsp sugar
  • 1 Shot brandy

Preparation:


Mix wine and club soda in the pitcher, then squeeze the juice wedges from the lemon, limes, and orange into the mix. Toss in the fruit wedges (leaving out seeds if possible) and add sugar and brandy. Set aside for a few hours at temperature to allow the fruit flavors to blend. Pour over ice and serve.
A variant method is to chill overnight and add club soda just before serving.  
If you'd like to serve right away, use chilled red wine and serve over ice. 

Addition ideas:
Obviously, the quality of the wine will effect the quality of the sangria, but I would not recommend using a pricy wine to make what is essentially a wine cooler. A moderately priced dry red wine will make an excellent sangria. Likewise on the choice of brandy.
As mentioned above, a variety of fruit may be used instead of oranges, lemons, and limes.
Sliced strawberries, diced peaches, a handful of fresh blueberries, raspberries, kiwi slices, etc.
Ginger ale or citrus soda make a good replacement for the club soda.

A variety of  fruit brandies, or fruit liqueurs can be substituted for the brandy. For best results, match the type of liqueur/brandy to the type of fruit(s) used. Other liquors (especially rum) may be used as well.