First time on this blog?

Who are Freedon, Sarah, Macky Rae, and Reba? They are my little dogs!
If you are new to this blog, click here to read the introduction.


 photo recycled_electrons_zps05d2a378.gif


Regarding any typos you may find in this blog:
Currently, I am using the computer at the library to write and publish this blog. In addition to the spellcheck on their computer, there is a spell checker on the blog-host's server - and the two programs are arguing with each other, and sometimes one or both corrects my typing, even when it doesn't need to be corrected.

Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Dogs Say the Darnedest Things (Part 2)

More conversations with my dogs:


MACKY: Hey, Sarah. Pull my paw.

SARAH: What for?

MACKY: Just do it.

SARAH: No.

MACKY: Come on. It will be funny.

SARAH: Pull your own paw.

MACKY: Hey, Freedom. Pull my paw.

SARAH: Don't do it.
Freedom pulls Macky's paw, and the "traditional" effect results.
FREEDOM: Ewww!

SARAH: That is so gross.

FREEDOM: What has Dad been feeding you???


Gang Sign?

I asked my boys why they felt the need to pee on every corner in town
MACKY: It is because we do not have thumbs, so we can not use spray paint.

FREEDOM: Even if we did, they would not let us into the store to buy paint.

SARAH: That is so gross.



from the Family Album:


Tell me you are not going out
dressed like that? OMG!
Seriously, Dad. Who taught
you to dress? I have seen
better coordinated outfits on
golfers! 

Wild Kingdom

Sarah enters the living room and sees the boys watching television.
SARAH: What are you watching?

MAY: Television

 SARAH: I knew that.

MACKY: Then why did you ask?

FREEDOM: It's a documentary on Wolves

MACKY: Yeah, we are learning about our roots.

SARAH: We're Pomeranians, we come from Europe.

FREEDOM: Before that we were Wolves.
Sarah sits down and watches
SARAH: What are they doing?

FREEDOM: They just killed a deer...

MACKY: ...And now they are going to eat it!
They continue watching. 
SARAH: OMG!  They're eating it raw???

MACKY: Yeah! That is so cool.

SARAH: No it's not, it's gross! Why don't they at least cook it first?

FREEDOM: Why don't have ovens in the wild.

SARAH: Well, they should. No wonder we became dogs.

MACKY: No wonder they call us animals.


A common comment, usually when the food is almost in my mouth:
ANY OF THE THREE: Hey, Dad. are you going to eat that?


And the ever popular:
MACKY: Hey, Dad! Pull my paw.






Friday, July 12, 2013

Marines: The Few, the Proud, the Clowns?

Today's blog entry is on Jarheads.

Macky Rae, my youngest dog, has become an admirer of the Marines after he found out they are sometimes called "Devil Dogs." 


The Marine Corp was also originally
organized in a tavern, which explains
a lot about them.
According to Macky (who looked it up online) The United States Marine Corps is currently the largest marine force in the world, responsible for much of the United States of America's expeditionary operations. Created in 1775, they were originally intended only to guard naval vessels during the American Revolutionary War.
While the USMC is a component part of the Department of the Navy in the military command structure, it is a military branch separate from the Navy. The USMC also provides marines as security guards at U.S. diplomatic posts throughout the world. They also provide helicopter transportation for the President of the United States aboard Marine One.
The Marine Corp motto is Semper Fidelis, which means "always faithful" in Latin, but most Marines just say "Semper Fi," the reason (I believe ) is that it is easier for a Marine to remember three syllable as opposed to five.
Keep it simple, trooper.
Many former Marines have gone on to successful and honorable career, such as businessmen, sports figures, mall cops, writers and journalists, some even elected to congress (as to whether this is successful and/or honorable is subject to debate).

Others, however...


Send in the Clowns


Mr Moose was not a Marine (although
from his looks, it is easy to believe that
he was.)
Robert James "Bob" Keeshan was an American television producer and actor. He is most notable as the title character of the children's television program Captain Kangaroo, which became an icon for millions of people during its 30-year run from 1955 to 1984.

He was also the original "Clarabelle the Clown" on the Howdy Doody Show.


Bob's co-star on the show Hugh Brannum, better known  as "Mr. Green Jeans," was also a jarhead. 
Robert Lewis (Bob) Bell was famous for his alter-ego, Bozo the Clown. He was the original portrayer of the character for Chicago superstation WGN-TV


FYI: One of the top ten fears is coulrophobia, the fear of clowns.

Gyreneophobia is the fear that the U.S.Marine Corp is going to invade your country, a fear suffered by many third world dictators.




Clinton is currently applying to the
Government to start a Clown
College for veterans. 
And speaking of clowns: Clinton Crowder.

Although neither a celebrity or famous, Clinton was a former Marine. I've know him for decades, since Junior High School. Unlike the other clowns (above), Clint started out as a clown, and later became a Marine.
 The few, the proud, the brave...  
...ask him about the hour he spent trapped in the wood shop class sawdust bin.





 

Semper Fi, Mofos!

(Former Marines turned Rappers)

Nathaniel Dwayne Hale, better known by his stage name Nate Dogg, was an American rapper, singer and actor. He was noted for his membership in rap trio 213 and his solo career in which he collaborated with other rap artists.





Orville Richard Burrell, better known by his stage name Shaggy, is a Jamaican-American pop singer and rapper. He is known for his hit singles "Boombastic", "It Wasn't Me" and "Angel". He is said to have taken his stage name from his shaggy hair.






Some years ago, I worked in a fast food restaurant with a young man by the name of Ernie, who was enrolled in the Junior ROTC program at his High School. Ernie wanted to be a Marine

Admirable, except Ernie stood 5'2" and maybe 115 pounds (soaking wet).

Also working there was Dewayne "Red" Wilson, who was a former Marine. Red, like myself, was one of the shift supervisors. And like myself, Red thought Ernie had two chances of making it the Marine Corp: Slim and None.

One evening, Red and I (and Ernie) were working the same shift. The other High Schoolers decided to have a bit of fun at Ernie's expense, and when Ernie went into the walk-in refrigerator, they barricaded the door and turned of the light.

Ernie could only get the door opened about two inches, not enough to escape. He was pleading, tearfully, for the others to let him out. Red and I came out of the office to investigate, only to find Ernie's face sticking out of the door, still pleading for them to release him.

Red just shook his head in disbelief.
"Ernie!" Wilson yelled. "Marines don't cry!"
 I couldn't stop laughing for an hour.

Get Smart


Who is that man talking on his shoe?

"You missed it by that much,
jarhead! Drop and give me 99!
Don Adams was an American actor, comedian and director. In his five decades on television, he was best known as Maxwell Smart (Agent 86) in the television situation comedy Get Smart (1965–1970), which he also sometimes directed and wrote. Adams won three consecutive Emmy Awards for his portrayal of Smart (1967–1969). He provided the voices for the animated series Tennessee Tuxedo and His Tales (1963–1966) and Inspector Gadget (1983–1986) as their title characters,  as well as others.

He, too, was a Marine.

During World War II, he joined United States Marine Corps at 16 by lying about his age. Adams participated in the Battle of Guadalcanal in the Pacific Theater of Operations. His combat service was short-lived; he was shot and contracted blackwater fever, a serious complication of malaria, known for a 90% rate of fatality. He was evacuated and then hospitalized for more than a year at a Navy hospital in Wellington, New Zealand. After his recovery, he served as a Marine drill instructor in the United States.


Macky Rae likes Get Smart, which he watches it on TVLand. He tells me it is like James Bond, except stupid.
He also thinks TVLand is a real place. He wants to "visit" some of his favorite show, but so far has been unable to find where TVLand is on GoogleMaps.

 

Yo, Jarhead. Come on down!


Drew Allison Carey - After serving in the U.S. Marine Corps and making a name for himself in stand-up comedy, Carey eventually gained popularity starring on his own sitcom, The Drew Carey Show, and serving as host of the U.S. version of the improv comedy show Whose Line Is It Anyway?. He replaced Bob Barker (Navy fighter pilot, WW2) as the host of  The Price Is Right in 2007.

All three of my dogs enjoy The Price is Right.

The Golden Marine?
Although she denied being a Marine,
official records confirm her military
service. The photo on the left is her
military ID photo.
Another famous entertainer (and former Marine) was Bea Arthur. An American actress, comedienne, and singer whose career spanned seven decades. Arthur achieved fame as the character Maude Findlay on the 1970s sitcoms All in the Family and Maude, and as Dorothy Zbornak on the 1980s sitcom The Golden Girls, winning Emmy Awards for both roles. A stage actress both before and after her television success, she won the Tony Award for Best Featured Actress in a Musical for her performance as Vera Charles in the original cast of Mame (1966).Bea Arthur (Bernice Frankel), who served during WW2, later denied being in the Corp (for reasons unknown). Her Marine Corps records, however, are available for perusal at the  National Archives and Records Administration.


Sadly, real female Marines personnel
do not look this good.
FYI, a female Marine is called a B.A.M. - Broad Ass Marine. Commonly used by the Marines themselves, the term is "unofficial."
Bea Arthur was, therefore, a B.A.M.
True story: Marine MPs are trained on Lackland Air Force Base, the school being located near the squadron were I did basic training. During our second week of training, we were give partial liberty (mainly the exchange and the student recreational facility). Before we went, our Sergeant gave us the following warnings:
Alcohol is available at the rec center. Do not drink! Don't even think about it. (We were not permitted alcohol until after basic training.
You may encounter female Marine personnel. Do not f--- with them! Female Marines has the same genitalia as you do. (I cleaned this up a bit).

 

Mail Call!


And perhaps the most famous Jarhead turned entertainer is R. Lee Ermey, and for me to exclude him would be unforgivable.

Best known for his role as Gunnery Sergeant Hartman in Full Metal Jacket, which earned him a Golden Globe Award nomination for Best Supporting Actor. He is a retired U.S. Marine and an honorary Gunnery Sergeant; during his tenure in the U.S. Marine Corps, he served as a drill instructor.

Cast as tough drill instructor Gunnery Sergeant Hartman in Stanley Kubrick's Full Metal Jacket, he was initially intended to be only the technical advisor. Director Stanley Kubrick changed his mind after Ermey put together an instructional tape, in which Ermey went on an extended hair-raising drill instructor tirade towards several extras, convincing Kubrick he was the right person for the role.


FYI: What does Taco Bell, Little Caesars, and Domino's have in common?
All three were founded by former U.S. Marines.
(Glenn Bell, Mike Ilitch, and Tom Monaghan) 

Onward Christian Soldiers



Marion Gordon "Pat" Robertson  an American media mogul  and a former Southern Baptist minister. Robertson has a distinguished career as the founder of several major organizations, such as The Christian Broadcasting Network (CBN) and the International Family Entertainment Inc. (ABC Family Channel). He is the host of The 700 Club. He also ran (unsuccessfully) for the office of the President of the United States.

He is also a former Marine.


I had a friend in college who's brother, a Marine reservist, was engaged to a devout Mormon. While having lunch at the Student Union, I jokingly asked "What do you get when you cross a Mormon with a Marine?" Although the question was rhetorical, our devious minds clicked on, He, I, and several others came up with a list of about two dozen answers, such as:
  • There were others, but
    after all these years time
    has partially erased our
    memories, and neither
    myself (or the others I am
    still in contact with) could
    remember them all.
    Children born in squads
  • Amphibious landing craft full of bicycles.
  • One year supply of C-rations in the basement (today it would be MREs).
  • Semper fidelis (ad Dominum) - Always faithful (to the Lord)
  • Q: Have you found Jesus? A: Sir! Yes, sir!
  • Missionaries in Camo
  • Mission/Recon teams of two.
  • LDS-ROTC
  • Improvise, Adapt, Baptize.
    and the obvious one:
  • "Onward Christian Soldiers"

 
Although none have been
President, one former Marine
did assassinate a President.

 Presidential Marines.


In the history of the United States 31 Presidents served in the military: Mostly in the Army (or the Militia), six Navy (or Reserves), and one Air Force (Actually, it was the Texas Air National Guard. It was George, Jr.).

There has never been a Marine to go on to become Commander-in-Chief.

One former Marine went on to become president of another country.


The former Corporal Aidid
Hussein Mohamed Farrah Aidid emigrated to the United States when he was 17 years old. In April 1987, Farrah enlisted in the United States Marine Corps. Following his training, he was stationed at the Marine Corps reserve base in Pico Rivera, California as a gunner in Battery B of the 14th Marine Regiment. He served in Somalia as a translator during Operation Restore Hope, having been chosen because he was the only United States Marine who spoke Somali. Following his discharge, he remained in the United States and became a naturalized citizen.
In 192 Farrah was selected by the Habar Gidir clan as successor to his father and returned to Somalia. Upon his father's death on August 1, 1996, Hussein was sworn in as President, serving from August 2, 1996 to December 22, 1997.
Has our government considered this as an alternative to full-force invasions?



Private James Buchanan,
United States Army
James Buchanan, our 15th President of the United States (1857–1861), held the rank of private in the Army during the War of 1812. When the British invaded neighboring Maryland, he joined a volunteer light dragoon unit and served in the defense of Baltimore. He is the only future President who enlisted without going on to become an officer.


Famous non-Marines


Actor/singer Jim Nabors played Gomer Pyle on The Andy Griffith Show who became so popular that he was made a regular on the show and was later given his own show, the spin-off Gomer Pyle, U.S.M.C., in which his character joined the United States Marine Corps.

Shazam! Jim was never a real Marine (surprise! surprise! surprise!).

Frank Sutton, who played Sgt Carter, served in the Army during the World War 2.

Can you say Semper Fi? I knew you could.

I love the smell of Napalm
in the neighborhood.
Fred "Mister"Rogers, famous for creating and hosting Mister Rogers' Neighborhood (1968–2001), which featured his gentle, soft-spoken personality and directness to his audiences. In spite of rumors, he was not a Marine Corp sniper, nor did he serve in any branch of the service.

He was an ordained minister. For all you veterans can you imagine Fred as your chaplain?

Macky Rae likes Mister Rogers. But he's only 3 years old, so that is understandable. He often often tells me he is going to "the land of make believe." 
He also like Sesame Street, except he does not like Elmo (but who does?) and he suspect Bet and Ernie are gay.
He once came up to me and proudly announced that he could count to ten.
"Want to hear me do it?" he asked.
"Sure" I answered.
"One! Ah-ah-ah. Two! Ah-ah-ah. Three..."
But I digress...


Count von Count was also not a Marine

 My cousin Herb's son, Alfred, is currently on his second term as a Marine and just made Corporal (E-4). After misspelling his name on the ASVAB, joining the Corp was his only option.

Cousin Herb sent me an e-mail recently, relating the following story:
Alfred was placed in charge of a work detail to square up the headquarters area for a pending visit by a high ranking General from Washington, D.C.  Square up, as in mowing, raking, painting, etc. "Yard work." Around eleven-hundred hours, Alfred dismissed his work detail in order to get chow. Shortly after they left, the female Lieutenant in charge of "squaring up" came out, looked around. Noticing that nobody was working, she went up to Alfred and asked "Corporal! Where are your privates?"





Tuesday, July 9, 2013

Stupid Cats are for Dummies
(Excert from Macky Rae's
book on stupid cats)

The following is an excerpt from Macky Rae's book Stupid Cats are for Dummies:


From Chapter Six:
Cats are very Stinky
 
Cats are stinky. There are people who say that cats are very clean, but this is not true. They are dirty. And stinky. They are covered in cat spit! Cats are very stinky.
 
If you absolutely must have to have a stinky cat as a pet, you will need to clean your stinky, cat spit covered animal in order to prevent your house from smelling like stinky cat spit.
 
Do you know how you should clean a cat? I will tell you:

How to Bathe a Cat

  1. Thoroughly clean the toilet.
  2. Add the required amount of shampoo to the toilet water, and have both lids lifted.
  3. Obtain the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom.
  4. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids (you may need to stand on the lid so that he cannot escape). CAUTION: Do not get any part of your body too close to the edge, as his paws will be reaching out for any purchase they can find. The cat will self-agitate and make ample suds. Never mind the noises that come from your toilet, the cat is actually enjoying this.
  5. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a "powerwash" and "rinse" which I have found to be quite effective.
  6. Have someone open the door to the outside and ensure that there are no people between the toilet and the outside door.
  7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift both lids.
  8. The now-clean cat will rocket out of the toilet, and run outside where he will dry himself.
 


Thursday, July 4, 2013

Barbecuing, Beer,
and the Fourth of July.


With Independence Day (the 4th of July) coming up, I thought I would do a blog entry on one of the traditional rituals of the holiday: Barbecuing!

  I BBQ   


Barbecuing is a great pastime. It is a word-wide phenomena, a universal commonality that transcends borders and oceans, ethnicity, religion beliefs, and social status. Most cultures have some form of barbecuing tradition, stemming from the fact that before kitchens and stoves, everyone cooked with fire.

Traditionally, barbecuing has been considered a "man's activity." Even when cooking was considered "woman's work," it was the man who was responsible for the barbecue (although side dishes were usually the responsibility of the woman). But as our culture becomes more enlightened, the number of barbecuing women is increasing.

Having participating in the activity frequently, I can assure you a penis is not required for barbecuing, and that having a vagina in no way impairs one's ability to barbecue.
Fire was discovered
125,000 years ago by
Ogg "Sparky" O'Brien.
An hour later ,a few friends
dropped by with a pig, and
barbecuing was invented.
Barbecuing is a great pastime. It is a word-wide phenomena, a universal commonality that transcends borders and oceans, ethnicity, religion beliefs, and social status. Most cultures have some form of barbecuing tradition, stemming from the fact that before kitchens and stoves, everyone cooked with fire.

The word barbecue derives from the word barabicu, a Caribbean word  translated as "sacred fire pit." The word describes a grill for cooking meat, consisting of a wooden platform resting on sticks.
Traditional barbacoa involves digging a hole in the ground and placing some meat (usually a whole goat) with a pot underneath it, so that the juices can make a hearty broth. It is then covered with maguey leaves and coal and set alight. The cooking process takes a few hours.

The definition of barbecue vary The bylaws of the American Brotherhood of the Barbecue loosely define "barbecue," the primary requirements being:
  • outdoors (covered patios are acceptable)
  • a grill (or a fire pit); and
  • a dead animal.
The preferred "dead animal" varies from culture to culture. In the U.S. the top choices are cow, pig, and chicken.
Muslim nations do not barbecue pig, but sheep and goat are common. Vietnam has an annual rat barbecue. The most bizarre (IMHO) is tribes in South America that roast tarantula on an open fire.
In New England, Clam-Bakes are popular. Some purists argue that a "clam-bake" is not barbecuing. But in that it fulfills the outdoors/fire/dead animal requirement, the Brotherhood acknowledge (reluctantly) that clam-baking is a form of barbecuing - much the same way that the Armed Forces acknowledges (reluctantly) the Coast Guard as a part of the military.
 
The term buccaneer derives from the
Caribbean Arawak word buccan, a
wooden frame for smoking meat,
preferably manatee. From this derived
the French word boucane and hence
the name boucanier for French hunters
who used such frames to smoke meat
from feral cattle and pigs on Hispaniola
(now Haiti and the Dominican Republic).
 
 English colonists anglicised the word
boucanier to buccaneer.

Barbecuers of the Caribbean: About 1630, some Frenchmen who were driven away from the island of Hispaniola fled to nearby Tortuga. The Spaniards tried to drive them out of Tortuga, but the buccaneers were joined by many other French, Dutch and English and turned to piracy against Spanish shipping, generally using small craft to attack galleons in the vicinity of the Windward Passage. Finally they became so strong that they even sailed to the mainland of Spanish America and sacked cities.
 
English settlers occupying Jamaica began to spread the name buccaneers with the meaning of pirates. The name became universally adopted later in 1684 when the first English translation of Alexandre Exquemelin's book The Buccaneers of America was published.

Theodore J. Barnes

In all fairness, I must defend my Uncle. Granted, he provided a beer to a 13 year old, but it wasn't as if he was giving me whiskey.
He didn't give me hard alcohol until I was old enough. Sixteen.
I will cover Uncle Theo in
future blog entries.

I was initiated into the BBQ Brotherhood at the age of 13 by my Uncle, Theodore J Barnes, who decided it was time that I became a man, and that I needed to know manly things.
He introduced me to the paraphernalia of barbecuing (spatulas, tongs, etc.) and demonstrated their usage, explained how (and how not to) start a barbecue, and dissertated on the various edible animals, and the best way to prepare and barbecue them.
He presented me with my first apron, along with a baseball-style cap (Seattle Seahawks) and a pair of tongs. He looked me over, paused, then decided something wasn't quite right. After a moment of thought, he discovered what it was, reached into the cooler, and handed me a can of beer, proclaiming my appearance now to be perfect.



"You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer."
         ~ Frank Zappa

Beer is an integral part of barbecuing, as well as the Fourth, Americana, and World Civilization as a whole. In fact, some believe beer was the reason for civilization. A summary of the arguments goes like this:

The Fertile Crescent
(Cradle of Civilization)

  I Beer   

If you remember from school, civilization began some 10,000 years ago in the middle east when nomad tribes settled down and began farming. But there was an abundance of food available in these areas, and there would have been no motivation to become agricultural.

Why work, when food is readily available?

Some archaeologists believe that beer was the catalyst for civilization. To brew beer, one needs to settle (at least temporarily) in one place. Inventing agriculture allows the settlement to continue after naturally occurring food sources are (quickly) depleted - as well as creating more grain to brew more beer. Pottery is developed (storage for grain, and beer), animal husbandry (animals for barbecuing), architecture (storage buildings for grain, and beer), and so on. Before you know it, you have civilization.






Fire was discovered 125,000 years
ago, where as beer was only invented
10,000 years ago, which means that
for 115,000 mankind was forced to
barbecue without beer.
SARAH: So how does beer relate to the invention of a written language?

ME: I'm not sure.

MACKY: Maybe they invented writing to label beer cans.

SARAH: They didn't have aluminum cans back then.

FREEDOM: Beer bottles?

SARAH: The didn't have bottles, they had clay pots!

MACKY: So they invented it to label clay pots.

ME: Why did do that?

MACKY: So they would know which clay pot had regular beer, and which had light beer.



Fireworks are also a traditional part of the Independence Day celebration. We fondly remember from our childhoods not only the city's annual firework show, but our own personal show with sparklers and other legal fireworks purchased at the firework stand.
And for those of us with "Uncle Theos," the illegal stuff purchased on the Indian reservation.


[Independence Day] ought to be
solemnized with pomp and parade…
bonfires and illuminations (fireworks)...
   (Letter to Abigail Adams,1776)

I wonder what John Adams would have
thought if he knew how much fire
damage (and personal injuries) occur
due to the misuse of fireworks.

On behalf of us dogs, thank-you to
all the firefighters who have to deal
with all the stupidity every year.
Even as adults we enjoy the city's annual show, as well as memories of the Independence Day barbecue, beer, Uncle Theo's illegal pyrotechnics, that trip to the ER with 2nd and 3rd degree burns...
Alcohol and fireworks don't mix.
That is probably why personal fireworks are becoming illegal.
That, and the grass fires.
The very first celebration of Independence Day was in 1777, six years before Americans knew whether the new nation would survive the war; fireworks were a part of all festivities. In 1789, George Washington's inauguration was also accompanied by a fireworks display. This early fascination with their noise and color continues today.
Macky Rae, my youngest dog is confused by this. He understood patriotism, he just didn't understand the need to blow things up with fireworks in order to celebrate. And quite frankly neither do I.
But he does love barbecue!

Although not mentioned by the founding fathers, barbecuing has become a traditional part of celebrating the Fourth. Independence Day is one of the three "official" barbecuing days of summer recognized by the American Barbecuing Brotherhood (the other two being Memorial Day and Labor Day).

Speaking of the Revolution...

Independence Day marks the official signing of the Declaration of Independence which spelled out out grievances with Britain. The American Revolution was started on two things: Terrorism (the Boston Tea Party) and Armed Rebellion (Lexington and Concord), two acts that the United States will not tolerate today.

Viva La France!
And the armed rebellion would have been lost, except for one thing: we decided not to follow the rules of war.
In other words we cheated.

And even then, we probably still would have lost had the French not decided to come to our aid.
More colonist supported Britain than those who supported Independence. And the majority of colonist really didn't care one way or the other as they were more concerned with the day to day affairs of making a living - who actually would govern them was not a major concern.
And as for Taxation without representation: An offer was made to allow colonist to send representatives to Parliament. Due to the low population of the colonies compared to the high population of Great Britain, the few representatives that the colonies would be entitled to would have negligible impact. The rebels decided against accepting the offer, preferring armed rebellion.


 You have to love a nation that celebrates its independence every July 4, not with a parade of guns, tanks, and soldiers who file by the White House in a show of strength and muscle, but with family picnics where kids throw Frisbees, the potato salad gets iffy, and the flies die from happiness. You may think you have overeaten, but it is patriotism.
          ~Erma Bombeck



Barbecuing during the summer is not restricted to these "official" days. The bylaws of the American Barbecuing Brotherhood allows for barbecuing on any day (summer or no), and calls for "sanctions" or members who fail to barbecue when an opportunity presents itself.




Last Independence Day, I  barbecued for me and my dogs. After going to the store for hamburgers and hotdogs, I began my preparations. I pulled the grill out of storage, loaded it with briquettes, doused them with starter fluid, and lit them ablaze
The dogs watched with some interest as prepped my tools (tongs, spatulas, etc.) and, when the coals were ready, began cooking. The smell of cooking meat, smoke, and starter fluid permeated the air. As they finished cooking, I transferred the burgers and wieners to serving dishes, and it was then I noticed my canine trio heading across the street.
"The food is almost ready" I hollered. "Where are you going?"
"We got invited to the Johnsons' barbecue" Macky informed me.
"Why? We're having our own barbecue. We got burgers and hotdogs."
 "Yes, but the Johnsons are barbecuing a whole pig!"


The Orion Nebula, which Macky Rae
believes to be the residual smoke of an
intergalactic barbecue

In Where are the Aliens? I mentioned that Macky Rae enjoys science and science fiction. He believes that there is a race of dog-like aliens living on a planet around one (or both) of the dog stars. According to Macky, their primary form of recreation is barbecuing.
"Do they have beer?" I asked.
"Probably not, Dad."
"Why not?" 
"Dogs do not drink beer" he told me. "But they do have a football team." 

Have a Happy and safe 4th of July!!!