Sports Talk

Macky Rae preparing microwave popcorn in preparation for tomorrows game. When I got home yesterday, I discovered my dogs had decorated my living room. It was actually already decorated, so what they did was (technically) re-decorate my apartment. There was blue and green crêpe paper streamers in the window, a "Go Seahawks" banner hanging from the ceiling, and posters of Wilson, Lynch, and Sherman on the walls. It could only mean one thing: The local 12th Dog Association was coming over to watch the game tomorrow. For those of you who live in a cave, by "the game" I mean Super Bowl XLIX. For those of you who don't follow my blog on a regular basis, are new to this blog, or just forgot, the 12th Dog Association is about two dozen or so canines of assorted sizes and breeds who live in the area who are devoted Seahawk fans. And a cat named Freddie. The Association allowed Freddie to join the club, because there isn't a 12th cat association because (as I was informed) most of the local cats are not Seahawk fans. I only used this image so I wouldn't get fined. They were in the kitchen, preparing for the festivities: Microwaving popcorn, roasting Chex™ Mix, and arranging appetizer trays. Judging from the grocery bags on the floor, and the fact that my debit card was not in my wallet when I was looking for it earlier, it would appear that I may have fimanced the party as well. Oh well. I'm in.

 

I'm a freak.

I'm one of those people who listens to news and other informational programing. I like to know what's going in in the universe, or at least on my particular planet. I'm interested in global warming (or cooling, one of the two - I forget from week to week which we are believing at the time), racial unrest, police shooting, radical terrorists,

and the 2016 elections.

But only because I'm worried that Hillary Clinton might not only run for president, she might actually win.

Don't get me wrong, I have no issue with electing a woman as president.

Just not THAT woman.

So one evening I was listening to Jim Bohannon and the topic was the police safety in the light of recent terrorist activities, and threats. Bohannon had just asked a good question, and was about to receive (what I hoped would be an) equally good answer from his guest, when suddenly the show was interrupted by the station.

An amber alert?

A storm warning??

A nuclear strike by radicals???

No, something even more important: basketball.

Yes, I said basketball.

The station deemed basketball more important than the safety of our nation.

And it wasn't even NBA, or even college basketball.

It was High School Hoops!

And it wasn't even my alma mater.

(Go Bombers!)

It was bad enough when the station stopped airing Star Talk...

Me and Macky Rae (my younger dog) liked Neil Degrasse Tyson. Regular readers of this blog are aware that he is fond of science and science fiction.

...and now this!

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The public have an insatiable curiousity to know everything,
except what is worth knowing.

~ Oscar Wilde

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Don't get me wrong, I like sports. But some thing are more important that sports. Like the safety of the free world.

And why do they still broadcast sports on the radio? We have TV (and have had for well over a half century) and (IMHO) it is a much better medium for visual entertainment.

There was a time, when human being lived in caves, that radio was the only was transmit immediate information of sporting events.

Or if you didn't need immediate sporting information, you could wait until the following day and hear the results announced by the town crier.

Some sports you just have to watch, either live or on TV. Football I can understand, but that's because I like football. But Basketball? High School Basketball???

 

Other than parents (and maybe a few other family members), I can't imagine anyone wanting to listen to high school basketball (or any other high school sport). I might be wrong (and often am) but I can't believe they have enough listeners to warrant preempting other programming.

At the very least, KONA shouldn't run a show that the plan to interrupt for "high school hoops." The should either do a pre-game show, or just play some music until the game starts.

Just don't get me involved with a show, only to yank the rug out from under me (figuratively speaking) just when it gets interesting.

So, lets talk sports.

In the United States, there are only 6 sports played: Football, Baseball, Basketball, Hockey, NASCAR,

and everything else - This is according to a 2013 Harris poll.

2176 people were surveyed between December 12th and 18th of 2012, and these are the results:

 

Football was #1 (anyone surprised by this?) at 46% - 35% favoring NFL, 11 favoring college (NCAAF).

Canadian Football did not make the list.

"You can't be a real country

unless you have a beer and

an airline. It helps if you have

some kind of a football team,

or some nuclear weapons, but

at the very least you need a

beer."

~ Frank Zappa

 

Outside the United States (and Canada), "American" Football does not enjoy much popularity. Worldwide, the #1 sport is Soccer.

Most countries enjoy some form of "foot" ball: Soccer, Rugby, and American Football being the most preeminent.
 

My dogs like football. They are Seahawk fans.

You probably guessed that from the intro to this blog entry.

Two weeks ago, went down to the Zip-E-Mart and bought sodas, chips, and beef jerky - snacks for the NFC championship game. As the game was about to start, I reached over to turn up the volume.

That's when they attacked me.

They thought I was going to change the channel, and panicked. Freedom (my oldest) bit my hand, Sarah (my female) bit my leg, and Macky Rae jumped up on me and head-butted me until I lost consciousness.

Green Bay - 22

Seattle - 26

Trip to the ER for stitches- $300

Laying on the floor in a daze, bleeding, listening to the NFC playoff game - Priceless

It was an awesome ending, so the dogs told me.

 

 

 

Nipper listening to the 1919 World Series.

The Cincinnati Reds defeated the Chicago

White Sox 5 to 3

Baseball was #2 with 16%.

How can anyone enjoy listening to baseball?

I played baseball as a kid (little league) and it's a fun game to play, but (IMHO) it's boring to watch, let alone listen to. Very little happens unless a player gets a hit - otherwise most of the players are standing around, scratching and spitting. Only the pitcher and the catcher are (more or less) constantly playing. The pitcher's aim is to strike out the batter (thus preventing anything from happening), and a perfect game, when all the batters are struck out, is when absolutely nothing happens.

 

 

 

5% said Ice Hockey

 

There is a WHL team in in my hometown, called the Tri-City Americans

which is an odd name for them, because most of the players are Canadian.

Some years ago, I worked near the coliseum where they played, so many of the players came in for lunch. One afternoon, a few of the "Americans" came in and ordered lunch. While waiting for their sandwiches, the boys engaged in a bit of playful jocularity. One of them elbowed another in the ribs, to which the victim responded with an exagurated "ow!' along with the appropriate emoted gestures.

My co-worker, a hockey fan, was not impressed.

"You know" he told the 'injured' player "as a hockey player I expect you to take a body check better than that."

 

 

 

9% said Basketball, of which 6 % said NBA and 3% said college basketball (NCAAB)

Note: nobody in the survey said "High School Hoops"

I've already had my say on this subject.

 

 

7% said Auto Racing and although the survey did not distinguish, I think it is safe to assume...

yeah, I know: ass / u / me

... that they were mainly referring to stock car racing. Stock car racing in the United States has its origins during Prohibition, when drivers ran illegal whiskey. Bootleggers typically used small, fast vehicles to better evade the police. Many of the drivers would modify their cars for speed and handling, as well as increased cargo capacity.

 

Practice driving and competitions began to attract spectators, and soon stock car racing (NASCAR) became a formal an approved sport.


Especially popular in the south, and by rednecks everywhere

Just Sayin'

Dale "#3" Earnhardt is one of the most noted of these, primarily because he died.

I think that some rednecks believe that NASCAR drivers are taken straight to heaven.

 

My redneck friend (Keith) likes NASCAR and Earnhardt. About a year or so ago he posted a picture of Earnhardt on this Facebook page. It had Dale in his racing regalia, and in the background was an American flag and a bald eagle, and the caption underneath all this read "American Hero."

I had to comment on this.

"Keith" I wrote, "crashing in a car doing 200 mph does not make him a hero. American Heroes are firefighter and police officers, and GIs serving in the middle east."

 

His response: "So what does that make him?"

 

"A redneck who crashed at 200 mph!"

 

 

 

Another sport popular amongst rednecks is "professional" wrestling, or as it is called in the south "Rasling"

 

Spoiler alert: Wrestling is not real.

No other sport is so, well, colorful.

 

Can you imagine freaky characters in other sports?

Oh wait. Dennis Rodman.

I was stationed in San Antonio (Texas) when I was in the Air Force. While I was there, a railroad bridge collapsed, causing a few railcars to drop into the Medina river. Not good, especially if one of them is a tanker filled with toxic chemicals, breaking open and leaking fumes into the air. And even worse when it occurs near a residential area.

Specifically, a trailer park.

(This fact is important to the story.)

The television stations, notified by the emergency notification system, alerted the residence (primarily rednecks) to the danger and advised them to evacuate.

Immediately.

And all the rednecks went to the designated meeting spot.

Which was a convenience store.

One of the local stations sent out a news crew, and did a live report from the store. The crew filmed the evacuees as they roamed around the parking lot, drinking sodas and eating hot dogs, nachos, and whatever else they could buy from the convenience store. The reporter picked one of them at random (more or less) and asked him what had happened.

Noted comedian and redneck expert Jeff Foxworthy once said that not all southerners are dumb, it's just that they can't keep the dumb ones off the TV.

"Well, he said "me and the wife was watching wrestling when the TV told us we should leave, so we put the kids in the truck and came here."

"Here" being the convenience store.

What saved the residents was that the accident occurred between 9 and 10pm so everyone was still up (watching wrestling), and thus got the warning to evacuate the area.

If it weren't fer wreslin' a whole lot o' rednecks may've been kilt!

 

 

At the time of the accident, I was drinking a beer...

(actually it was more than just "a" beer, but who's counting?)

...in the lounge of the Airman's Club...

which means you can't blame me for the train wreck - I have an alibi

...with Bill MacHines...

and a witness

and was on my 2nd or 12th beer when the station cut away to the impromptu refugee center, interrupting the regularly scheduled programing, which just happened to be a local show called "Weekend Sports Update."

KONA people, please take note: this is how you are suppose to do it. You interrupt sport for news, not the other way around!!!

Fear

Today blog subject is fear.

Or more specifically, phobias.

Fear is an emotion induced by a threat perceived by living entities, which causes a change in brain and organ function and ultimately a change in behavior the flight or fight response. In humans and animals, fear is modulated by the process of cognition and learning. Thus fear is judged as rational or appropriate and irrational or inappropriate.

---

FDR and Fala

So, first of all, let me assert my firm belief that the only thing we have to fear is...fear itself — nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into advance.

Franklin D. Roosevelt,

first inaugural address
March 4, 1933.

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Some people enjoy being frightened, which is evident from the number of scary movies that have been made since the invention of cinematography.

Or for that matter, the number of scary books that have been published since the invention of literature.

Inspired by authors like Edgar Allan Poe, Bram Stoker, Mary Shelley, scary movies have for more than a century featured scenes that scare the viewer.

But our topic is not rational fear, our topic is irrational fear.

The phobias

 Be Afraid. Be Very Afraid. Clinically, a phobia is a type of anxiety disorder, usually defined as a persistent fear of an object or situation in which the sufferer commits to great lengths in avoiding, typically disproportional to the actual danger posed, often being recognized as irrational. The word phobia comes from the Greek: φόβος (phóbos), meaning "aversion", "fear", or "morbid fear". It is common for specific phobias to be given a name based on a Greek word for the object of the fear, plus the suffix -phobia. A number of terms with the suffix -phobia are used non-clinically. Such terms are primarily understood as negative attitudes towards certain categories of people or other things. Usually these kinds of "phobias" are described as fear, dislike, disapproval, prejudice, hatred, discrimination, or hostility towards the object of the "phobia". Often this attitude is based on prejudices and is a particular case of most xenophobias.

Top Ten Fears

74 % Glossophobia - fear of public speaking

A.K.A. stage fright

I have a friend who suffered from this.

He won some award some time back, which meant he was going to have to give an acceptance speech in front of a large audience.

He was not looking forward to this.

We decided to help him out by telling him about an age old method of treating stage fright by imagining the audience in there underwear, which (in theory) makes them less threatening. So we told him this, and he decided to try it.

It was worth a shot.

An odd look

So he practiced his acceptance speech in the mirror, and when the day of the award he was (he thought) ready.

So when the time came, and he went up on stage, ready to give his acceptance speech (and the get the hell off the stage). He stood behind the podium, laid out his notes, looked out at the audience...

...and froze.

He just stood there, unmoving with an odd look on his face.

After several moments, when it became obvious that he was not oing to be able to give his speak, someone went over and gently escorted him of the stage

We asked him "What happened? You seemed ready, but then you froze up."

"I looked out at the audience" he told us "and I imagined everyone in their underwear, just like you said. But then I saw Michelle Rockwell in the second row."

"So?"

"Dude! She wasn't wearing any underwear."

68 % Necrophobia - fear of dying

Now please notice: Fear of dying is #2, where as fear of public speaking is #1. What this means is that at a funeral, most people would rather be in the coffin than to be giving the eulogy.

Anthroarachnophobia
Fear of Spiderman

30.5 % Arachnophobia - fear of spiders

I suffer from this. I dislike spiders. I even dislike pictures of spiders. I know that they serve a purpose in the eco-system, but the are creepy looking (especially Black Widows). I won't mess with a spiders as long as they stay outside, but if those eight-legged freaks come into my house, they are toast!

Statistically, you have a better chance of being killed by a champagne cork than you do from a poinsonous spider.

But if you see a spider coming at you, riding on a flying champagne cork, your odds are not good.

11 % Nyctophobia - fear of darkness

Macky Rae (my younger dog) had this when he was a pup, the result of one of our Family Movie Nights. We had rented Old Yeller, which is a Disney movie, and I thought it would be safe.

You'd think, right?

Towards the end of the film, the dog is bit by a rabid wolf while defending the family and becomes infected, and the owner has to put him down.

He gets shot.

For you and me, this is what is commonly referred to as an "unhappy ending," a theatrical concept that dates back 3000 years to the days of Greek dramas. To a small dog not yet one year old, this is like Freddy Krueger suddenly showing up at the end of the film.

Macky Rae screamed.

He also had what we commonly refer to as "an accident" on the carpet.

For weeks afterwards, Macky Rae had trouble sleeping. I had to buy him a nightlight because of his trauma induced Nyctophobia.

He also developed tetarophobia, a fear of monsters. Specifically, he developed

Krevatitetarophobia (fear of monsters under the bed), and

Ntoulapitetarophobia (fear of monsters in the closet)

Which meant at bedtime we would have to do a thorough search of the bedroom, to insure that the room was free of any monsters that might emerge with rifles and shoot him.

Chtypimanychtophobia- fear of things that go bump in the night

10 % Acrophobia - fear of heights

For me it is not so much a fear of height as it is a fear of falling. And its not the fall I fear, it's the sudden stop when I hit the ground.

Related fears:
Corpulophobia - fear of widths.
Bathophobia - fear of depth.

That should cover all dimensions.

7.9 % Sociophobia - fear of people or social situations

6.5 % Aerophobia - fear of flying

I do not like to fly.

Which is odd when you know that I was in the Air Force.

But I don't like to fly, for a variety of reasons covered in a previous blog entry. The main reason is I don't want to die in an airline crash. Or worse yet, survive a crash only to live the rest of my life horribly mangled and disfigured. Statistically speaking, one is more likely to die in an auto accident, but I have never heard of an auto wreck that occurred because it fell 30,000 feet.

2.5 % Claustrophobia - fear of confined spaces

2.2 % Agoraphobia - fear of open spaces

2.0 % Brontophobia - fear of thunder and lightning

 

Critterphobia:

Zoophobia - fear of animals

Spiders and insects are the most popular

or rather: the most unpopular

but snakes, reptiles, rodents, and other creep critters are also commonly feared. 50% of phobiacs fear insects (entomophobia), snakes (ophidiophobia), or birds (ornithophobia).

Birds?

Maybe Angry Birds.

Macky Rae enjoys science fiction,

"1950s Era Black and White Giant

Insect Films," and Zombie Flicks.

Critters, especially giant insect and spiders (but other enlarge critters as well) have been used in cinema as the baddies in some scary movies, especially during the 1950s. Usually, these ginormous bugs (and other) are the result of radiation (or some other human caused eco-damage).

I watched these as a child - even the ones about spiders. They almost always had a scene where the hero and the heroine are running from a giant bug of some sort, and she trips and sprains her ankle.

Because she is running in high heels.

He turns, but she urges him to "save himself." But he runs back to her, picks her up and carries her - usually just as the bug is about to get her.

If it was me, I'd leave her there for the bug.

But if a ginormous bug was chasing me, and I sprained my ankle, I bet you I could hop very fast.

Especially if it was a ginormous spider

Roar!!!
I is a Lion!

Agrizoophobia - fear of wild animals (a branch of zoophobia)

Leophobia - Fear of Lions
Tigrophobia - Fear of Tigers
Arkoudaphobia - Fear of Bears

Leotigroarloudaphobia - Fear of Lions, Tigers, and Bears

(Oh, my)

Cynophobia - fear of dogs

Totophobia - and your little dog too.

Oz never gave nothing to the Tinman,

That he didn't already have.

Ailurophobia - fear of cats.

Melanoailurophobia - fear of black cats

Apiphobia - fear of bees

Batrachophobia - fear of amphibians

Entomophobia - fear of insects

Mottephobia - fear of butterflies and/or moths

Equinophobia, hippophobia - fear of horses

Ichthyophobia - fear of fish

Fish???

Autodysomophobia
fear of one that has a vile odor

Mephitophobia - fear of skunks

Actually, nobody is really afraid of skunks, per se. You never hear about somebody getting mauled by wild skunks. What one is afraid of is getting stunked.

FREEDOM: Stunked? SARAH: Is that even a word? Yes, it is the past tense of stinked.

Some years back, I was invited to a friends birthday party...

I didn't have my car at the time (transmission issues) which was a good thing because when you celebrate Keith's birthday...

Yes, my redneck buddy keith

...you are expected to drink. Which I did.

So I had to walk home. It wasn't that far, maybe a 30-40 minute walk, assuming you took the shortcut through the park down by the river (which I did).

Critters live down by the river.

I was walking down a dirt roadand as I came around the turn, I suddenly found myself face to face (so to speak) with a skunk.

Fearless Farris

He was about 2-3 feet away from me, and his tail was up.

I was fealing the autodysomophobia.

So, in my alcohol muddled brain, I decided to reason with him.

Yes, with the Skunk.

"Look, dude" I told him. "I'm not going to mess with you. I'm just going home, and it looks like you are too. So there is no need to stink me. Lets just keep walking and go home."

The skunk (seemed) pondered my request for a moment, then dropped his tail and continued walking - brushing up against my pant leg as he went past me.

I stood there for a moment, stunned.

If that skunk didn't understand what I told him, he sure acted as if he did.

Musophobia - fear of mice and/or rats

Ophidiophobia - fear of snakes

This may be the result of Genesis, because the snake enticed Eve to eat the forbidden fruit.

According to Genesis, chapter 3 verses 14 & 15:
And the Lord God said unto the serpent, Because thou hast done this, thou art cursed above all cattle, and above every beast of the field; upon thy belly shalt thou go, and dust shalt thou eat all the days of thy life: And I will put enmity between thee and the woman, and between thy seed and her seed; it shall bruise thy head, and thou shalt bruise his heel.

Herpetophobia - fear of reptiles

Leporiphobia - fear of rabbits.

Rabbits? Who is afraid of Rabbits?

Former president Jimmy Carter for one:

The Jimmy Carter rabbit incident, dubbed the "killer rabbit" attack by the media, involved a swamp rabbit that swam toward President Jimmy Carter's fishing boat on April 20, 1979. The incident caught press imagination after Carter's press secretary mentioned the event to a correspondent months later.

The Rabbit of Caerbannog from
Monty Python and the Holy Grail

Carter had gone on a solo fishing expedition in his hometown of Plains, Georgia. According to the former president, a rabbit being chased by hounds "jumped in the water and swam toward my boat. When he got almost there, I splashed some water with a paddle."

Upon returning to his office, Carter's staff did not believe his story, insisting that rabbits couldn't swim, or that they would never approach a person threateningly. The incident was captured on footage taken by a White House photographer.

Heffalumpandwoozlephobia

As a pup, Macky Rae had Leporiphobia - a side effect from the "Old Yeller Incident." In the panic, he misunderstood what was said, and thought that the reason the dog was shot was because he had "rabbits" (instead of rabies). I tried to correct him, be he was in too much shock to listen.

Latter, he took a stffed bunny he got for Easter and buried it in the back yard.

Just to be safe.

Ranidaphobia - fear/dislike of frogs

Scoleciphobia - fear of worms

Selachophobia - fear of sharks


Potty Break?



Paruresis
fear of urinating
in public places

Paruresis is a type of phobia in which the sufferer is unable to urinate in the (real or imaginary) presence of others, such as in a public restroom. The analogous condition that affects bowel movement is called parcopresis.

Some people have brief, isolated episodes of urinary difficulty in situations where other people are in close proximity. Paruresis, however, goes beyond simple shyness, embarrassment, fear of exposure, or fear of being judged for not being able to urinate. Other people may find that they are unable to urinate while in moving vehicles, or are fixated on the sounds of their urination in quiet restrooms or residential settings. In severe cases, a person with paruresis can urinate only when alone at home or through the process of catheterization.

Although most sufferers report that they developed the condition in their teenage years, it can strike at any age. Also, because of the differing levels of severity from one person to another, some people's first experience of the problem is when, for the first time, they "lock up" attempting to produce a sample for a drug test. Many women are unaware that they, too, are subject to paruresis; articles about women and urination emphasize other female urinary dysfunctions, such as urinary incontinence or frequent urination.

Some people cope by deliberately holding in their urine, by refraining from drinking liquids, or locating unoccupied or single-occupancy public bathrooms.

Some just try and hold it in.

       

I have a friend (female) who does not like to use public restrooms, not out of any fear of embarrassment. Her fear - actually not really a fear - her "issue" is that all to often the public restrooms are "disgustingly filthy." (Her words)

I always thought that women would keep their restrooms cleaner.

I was informed that this is not always the case.

But what interested me was how she could come and drink coffee and not have to visit the little girl's room at least once.

"Over the years" she informed me "I have developed awesome bladder control."

More Fears:

Panphobia
fear of everything

Acrophobia - fear of heights

Corpulophobia - fear of widths.
Bathophobia - fear of depth.

That should cover all dimensions.

Agoraphobia - fear of open spaces.

Claustrophobia - fear of closed spaces.

Agroclaustrophobia - fear of open AND closed spaces

Having both agrora- and claustrophobia would be a real bummer

Coulrophobia - Fear of clowns.

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Coulrophobia
Fear of clowns

Some people do not like clowns, and not just evil clowns

but notorious clown figures in literature (Pennywise in It) and real life (John Wayne Gacy) do not help matters.

According to a psychology professor at California State University, Northridge, young children are "very reactive to a familiar body type with an unfamiliar face".

Clowns are often disliked by children. A study found that the children often did not like clown décor in the hospital or physicians' office settings. Some found the clown images to be quite frightening and unknowable. Researchers who have studied the phobia believe there is some correlation to the uncanny valley effect.

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Homophobia - fear of homosexuals

Hobophobia - fear of Tramps

Hispanophobia - fear of Mexicans

Hispanochibophobia - fear of Mexican food

Dentophobia - fear of dentists and dental procedures

Nosocomephobia - fear of hospitals

25% fear the dentist as oposes to 15% who fear hospitals

Nosophobia - fear of contracting a disease

Venereanosophobia - fear of contracting an STD

Trypanophobia - Fear of injection or medical needles

Stygiophobia - fear of Hell

Uranophobia - fear of heaven

Demonophobia - fear of demons

Angelophobia - fear of Angels

Ecclesiophobia - fear of churches

Diabolophobia - fear of Satan

Theophobia - fear of God

Astraphobia - fear that God is going to smite you with a bolt of lightning.

This fear can be cured by stopping whatever it is you are doing that you believe God is going to smite you for.

Atheophobia - fear of atheists

Zilotiphobia - fear of fanatical Christians.

Evangeliophobia - fear of born again Christians.

Evangelioportaphobia - fear of born again Christians at you door.

Not restricted to just Jehovah Witnesses and Mormons

Triskaidekaphobia - fear of the number 13 Friggatriskaidekaphobia - fear of Friday the 13th

Kruegerphobia

Like all cheesy horrow flicks, this blog entry will have a sequal

To be continued.