Family Night: Movies

Coming soon:
ZombieLand™ the Movie
Isn't that awesome?

Early one morning, Macky Rae (my youngest dog) was surfing the web while I was starting to drink a cup of coffee.

"Dad, check this out: They are going to make a ZombieLand™ movie. Isn't that awesome?"

In case you didn't know, ZombieLand™ is Macky Rae's (my youngest dog's) favorite computer game.

"It is going to be called ZombieLand™ the Movie. Isn't that awesome?"

Honestly, until I have had my morning coffee, nothing is awesome.

Movie Night

Me and my dogs enjoy movies. Some we enjoy more than others. Some less than others. And some we do not enjoy.

Periodically, we have what we call "movie night" in which they lay on pillows, eat snacks, watch movies, and have a good time. It's become a familiar ritual that usually begins by on of the dogs saying "I'm bored" and another one saying "Let's go rent some movies."

To prepare for movie night, we must first do an inventory of the kitchen in order to create a "snack list" and then walk down to the Zip-E-Mart to purchases required items that we are out of, or very low on.

Typical "snack list" includes: chip, dip, microwavable popcorn, beef jerky, more jerky, and a 2 liter soda.

Candy (you may note) is not on the list, as candy is something that isn't good for dogs.

Once we have our snack list finalized, we take a short (½ mi) walk down to the Zip-E-Mart, although we rarely make it there without making one stop, as there is no way to go directly to the Zip-E-Mart without passing Papa Lorenzo's Ristorante Italiano. It's also impossible to walk past Papa Lorenzo's Ristorante Italiano without one of the dogs suggesting in some way that we stop in. Typical comments include:

Since we are in the neighborhood, we should at least stop in and say "hi."

I hear Mrs. Lorenzo has not been feeling well. We should be polite and ask how she is doing.

And my personal favorite:

MACKY: We have not had cheezy bread in month.

ME: We had some last week.

MACKY: That is months in dog-years.

After a mid-afternoon lunch at Lorenzo's (pasta and cheezy bread), we walk across the street to the Zip-E-Mart where we purchase the items on our "snack list."

And some of you are asking "Do you really take your dogs into the Zip-E-Mart?"

Yes, I do.

We only had a problem once: Shortly after we moved into the neighborhood (before everyone knew us) the assistant manager told us that "pets are not allowed in the store."

My dogs gave him "the stare," then Freedom (my oldest dog) turned to me and said "Dad, you are going to have to wait outside while we shop."

After purchasing our snacks, we proceed outside to the Redbox® in order to peruse the selections. We open one of the bags of beef jerky and begin snacking as we examine the redbox selections.

Snacking is an important part of movie selection. At least that's what the dogs tell me.

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It is sometimes difficult to get all three dogs to agree on just one movie, as they have different tastes.

• Freedom likes historically based dramas.

• Sarah prefers "chick flicks," musicals, and Disney animations.

• Macky Rae likes science fiction, (he is a big fan of Star Trek & Star Wars), superheroes, fantasy, monster movies - especially "1950s Era Black and White Giant Insect Films" and (thanks to Aunt Amy) Zombie Flicks.

Usually, I just let each dog selected a movie - and movie night becomes a triple feature.

One movie that all three dogs enjoyed was Braveheart. Freedom enjoyed the historical aspects, Sarah liked the love interest aspect, And Macky Rae liked all the fight scenes. "Scotland" according to Macky Rae "kicks butt!"

One they all agreed to dislike was Shakespeare. As I mentioned in a previous blog entry, I try to expose my dogs to the Humanities, and once I rented Macbeth. Freedom (my oldest dog) fell asleep during act I. Sarah (my female) was appalled by the fashion, and went into the other room during act III. Macky Rae (my youngest) watched the whole thing, and when it was over he asked me "What language were they speaking?" "English" I told him. "That was English?"

Dog Trivia: In The Two Gentlemen of Verona, one of characters is a dog by name of "Crab," the only dog-part in any Shakespearean play.

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Although we sometimes utilize the redbox, sometimes it is filled with movies that we have already seen (or one we don't want to see).

It is rare that all three dogs find a movie or movies in the Redbox that they like - often the redbox is filled with movies we already have seen, or do not want to see - so movie night usually requires a short trip to the public library. This is where we can check out DVDs from their collection of less-than-current movies.

And some of you are asking "Your dogs are allowed in the library?"

Unlike some peoples two-legged children, my kids do not talk loudly, make sound effects while playing there games on the library computers, or curse while they are in the library.

There was a time when we were expected to behave in the library - I will no doubt cover that subject in a future blog.

Macky Rae was still a puppy the first time we went to the library to select movies. They have a fairly good children's section, and as a pup he enjoyed checking out a variety of cartoons, children's videos, and other juvenile entertainment.



Mrs. McCready

One particular afternoon, they all browsed the DVDs, selecting the movie the wanted to see. Except for Macky, who was having trouble deciding. He pondered a plethora of animated cartoons, children's videos, and juvenile entertainment, but none of them seemed to spark his interest. After several minutes, he stopped and went over to speak with Mrs. McCready, the librarian.

          "Do you have any "dog" movies?"

Mrs. McCready walked over to the children's DVD section with him, and showed him a variety of "dog" movies. He was delighted that there were, indeed, numerous "dog" movies from which to choose. Mrs. McCready pointed out a variety of films, many of them made by Disney. Some of the films she recommended were: Benji, Lady & The Tramp, Old Yeller, The Shaggy Dog, Lassie, Turner & Hooch, Marley & Me, and Where the Red Fern Grows.

The movie he selected was Old Yeller.

For those who have never seen this film, it is about a boy (Travis Coates) who has been left to take care of his family ranch with his mother and younger brother while his father goes off on a cattle drive in the 1860s in Texas. When a yellow mongrel comes for an uninvited stay with the family, Travis reluctantly takes in the dog.

Warning: Spoiler Alert

Towards the end of the film, the dog is bite by a rabid wolf while defending the family and becomes infected, and young Travis is forced to shoot the dog.

Macky Rae screamed.

For you and me, this is what is commonly referred to as an "unhappy ending," a theatrical concept that dates back 3000 years to the days of Greek dramas. To a small dog not yet one year old, this is like Freddy Krueger suddenly showing up at the end of the film.

Macky Rae screamed.

He also had what we commonly refer to as "an accident" on the carpet.

He began to cry. I picked him up, and held him on my lap as he trembled. He wanted to know why the boy shot the dog. I tried to explain to him that the dog had gotten rabies from the wolf, but he was too agitated to fully comprehend what I was telling him.

MACKY: What rabbits? I did not see any rabbits!

ME: Not rabbits, rabies.

MACKY: And even if he did have a rabbit, that was not a very good reason to shoot him, especially after he saved the family from the bad wolf!

FREEDOM: That was kind of messed up.

MACKY: I thought Disney movies were suppose to be nice.

ME: They are.

SARAH: What about Bambi?

ME: What was wrong with Bambi?

SARAH: Hunters killed Bambi's mother, remember?

MACKY: Was there rabbits in the movie?

SARAH: Hmmm... Now that I think about it, I believe there was a rabbit.

MACKY: I bet they shooted Bambi's mother because she got rabbits.

SARAH: No, they shot Bambi's mother because she was venison. They were going to make stew.

FREEDOM: I like venison. Mister Lorenzo should make a venison pizza.

SARAH: Oh! That would be so awesome!

MACKY: Then why didn't the hunters shot the rabbit too?

SARAH: Because nobody likes hare in their stew.

Macky was somewhat traumatized by the ordeal. He had trouble sleeping, and I was forced to take him to Wal-Mart in the middle of the night in order to purchase a nightlight.

Admittedly, he picked out an awesome nightlight.

Despite the nightlight, he continued to have bad dreams for almost two weeks, and usually wound up sleeping in my bed.

For some time afterwards, I carefully checked his movie selections (especially those "evil" Disney films) to insure that they did not contain anything inappropriate for a young dog.

Shortly after the "Old Yeller incident" I came home one afternoon and noticed someone had been digging in the flowerbed next to the porch. I noticed something sticking out of the ground, something that had no doubt been recently buried. Upon investigation, and a bit of excavation I discovered it was a stuffed bunny, one of Macky Rae's toys.

Naturally, I was curious as to why a stuffed animal had been buried underneath the rosebush. So, after removing the bunny from the ground, and brushing as much of the dirt from the bunny, I went inside.

As I opened the door, I was barraged by a rush of small brown dogs. As usual, they were overjoyed to see me. They usually are after I have been gone, even if it was just to go to the mailbox and I had only been gone for two minutes.

(If I could just find a woman who felt like this.)

"Macky" I started to ask, holding up the bunny. "I found this buried in the flower bed..."

Macky Rae screamed.

"Please, Dad" he pleaded. "I thought it was a bunny. I didn't know I had rabbits. Please don't shoot me!"