March Winds, April Showers, Easter, April Fools, and 4-20

There are a few holidays in April.

The most predominant, of course, is Easter

Easter for those of you who really don't know...

And if you really dont know, you really need to pay more attention to what's going on around you.

...Easter (sometimes referred to as Resurrection Sunday) is the celebration of Christ's death and subsequent resurrection, affirming that he was the son of God
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Now, some of you may not believe in Christ. And I won't argue here whether he did or did not exist, or if he did whether he was or was not the Son of God, or whether there is or is not even a God.

But whether you believe or don't, whether Christ did or did not exist, he has had a profound effect on history, society, and the world in general - not just in a spiritual way but in a physical way as well. Let me explain:
A dear friend of mine, one Rev Heath, once told me this "Even if something is not real, if enough people believe that it is real, it will have real consequences."

(Yes, Diana. I was paying attention during our conversations).

So even if (for the sake of an argument) Christ was not real. billions of people (past and present) believe that he is. Therefore he has real consequences.

And for those who object to Christ's teachings, what did he say that was so wrong? Love your neighbor, do good, don't return evil, look both ways before crossing the street... No, wait. That was my mom.

But I digress

Love your neighbor and do good. Is this a bad thing? Really??? Personally, I think we need more of this type of philosophy to permeate our society.

What I do have a problem with at times is the actions of some (so called) Christians, and the things they do in the name of Christ.

I won't go into detail. I could do a whole blog entry of "bad Christians." I could do a weekly blog on this subject.

Many (many) Christians implement their faith in an unchristian-like manner, but that has been around since day one of Christianity Many of St. Paul's letter's addressed issues and contained admonishments to the new churches about improper Christian practices.
Basically, it can be summed up like this: Christ taught that we should love one another, for which he was killed. After thinking about it some, people decided that it was a good idea, and then for the past 2000 years have argued and fought over how to properly love one's neighbors.

(I didn't come up with the above thought - it was from the writer Douglas Adams (Hitchhiker's Trilogy, et.al.)

I'm glad God love is perfect. I was God, I would not be very inclined to save humanity.

But I digress, again.

I like Easter, as do my dogs.

Last Easter, they got up early early, in order to ambush the Easter Bunny.

Being dogs, they do not like rabbits or other small rodent-like creatures such as squirrels and chipmunks and such.

They didn't get him.

How did rabbits get associated with Easter? Or for that matter colored eggs? Or chocolate?

Or a traditional Baked Ham? Jesus was Jewish, so we know darn well that Baked Ham was not what they ate at the last supper!

I searched the bible and the only reference I found was in the old testament, which declares Rabbits un-kosher. And there were no references to coloring eggs or chocolate in connection to the resurrection (or any other aspect of Christianity). Mary Magdalene DID NOT ask a giant 6 foot rabbit (named Harvey) if he knew where they had taken Christ's body. There were no eggs laying around that particular Sunday morning (colored or otherwise). And the only reference to chocolate was in Paul's letter to the Midichlorians warning then "not to eat all the chocolate, lest your butts become enlarged."


Some Christians object to such "pagan" rituals associated with Easter. Some don't even like the name Easter (also of pagan origins). But these same people celebrate Christmas, which is actually of pagan origins. In fact, there are more paganisms in Christmas than all the other holy-days combined.

What??? you may be asking. Christmas pagan???

Christ was not born December 25th. No where in the bible does it give a date for his birth, and scholars say it was most likely not in the winter months.

but I am digressing yet again.

4-20.

This is a relatively new (historically speaking) holiday. It is not recognized, or even sanctioned by the government.

In fact, the sacrement of this holiday is illegal (except in Washington and Colorado)

Some years ago, 4-20  and Easter fell on the same day. Which was weird. On that particular evening, me and my friend Keith (the redneck) decided to go to the mini-casino for a couple of drinks and a few hand of Blackjack.

Regular readers may remember the story of Keith at the Indian casino. by this time however, Keith had (finally) learned that he ws not going to get rich at Blackjack, and only gambled moderatly.

The casino we went to was one we frequented on a regular basis. It was across the street (somewhat) from where I was working at the time, and I would often go there after work for a drink, or two. Keith would often join me there.

The casino was run by J.B. (we never new if this was his real name, or his initials), a man who was the most professional looking person I had ever seen. Suit and tie, stern demeanor, never smiled - the perfect casino floor boss. He wasn't intimidating, he just never smiled - until this night.

After a few drinks, and a few hands of Blackjack, we decided to call it a night and proceeded out to our cars (or in Keith's case, his truck). As we were leaving, we saw J.B. outside smoking a cigarette on his break. As we walked past, I wished him a Happy Easter, and received a polite "Thank you, you too," and Keith followed that with "And if you are so inclined, Happy Holidays" referring to 4-20.

J.B. paused for half a moment, then responded with "I am, and I will after I get off work."

The things you never suspected about people.

April Fools day.

I have managed to pull of a few good April Folls pranks. And the reason I managed to suceed was that I didn't pull them on the 1st of April - that would be too obvious.

As long as you say, or do, something with a striaght face, people are inclined to belive you no matter how outrageous it is.

The classic prank, on that me and my cohort still laugh at 30 years later was the Bill You Have A Child prank:

After High School, our friend (Bill) ran off to who knows where and didn't bother to call or write or nothing for almost a two years before finally contacting us.

We decide to get paybacks.

We prefaced the prank with "the seed." Both me and my cohort (Gene) mentioned (casually) in letters to Bill that we had seen Linda. We didn't say which Linda, which could have been one of three that he dated while he was here.

We also mentioned (casually) that she - Linda - was with her daughter.

We also mentioned that we mentioned him to "her" and that she eagerly asked for his address which we gave to "her." Later, in a phone call from him, he told me (and later told Gene) that he wished we hadn't given her the address because the baby could be his.

Which confirmed that he had "done" at least one of the three Lindas.

To this day we don't know which one.

Phase two: I wrote up a ficticous letter (from Linda) that he had a child, etc, etc, and even enclosed a photo of some small child (I got it with a picture frame I bought). I had another friend of the female persuasion, who had lovely, femenine handwritting, to write it out. We mailled it off...

..and waited.

Two days later, when Gene and I were returning from classes at the college, we ran into my mother at the mall, who informed me my friend Bill was trying to get ahold of me and wanted tme to call him back - and I could call collect.

Gene called me later and said his mom told him more or less the same thing.

We made him "stew" for two days before I finally returned his call. I acted casual, as if I didn't know what was up. Excitedly, he told me that Linda wrote him, the child was his, etc, etc.

You could hear the anxiety in his voice.

When he finished telling me everything, I told him I wondered if that had anything to do with the Attorney that was trying to contact me and Gene.

"What???" he exclaimed.

I could feel the sweat through the phone line.

I played him for a moment, then let him off the hook. He was so relived that it was all a joke, he forgot to call me a @#$%.

I received a letter from him a few days later. All it said was "You are an @#$%"

Gene was called a @#$%  personally by a phone call.

Bill Lowe, if you are out there, send me an email. Me and Gene (your @#$% friends) would love to hear how you are doing.