Excert from: The Alien Chronicles

The following is an excerpt from a book that may never finish, or get published. The main character is an alien named Kermad d'Frok, a Lieutenant (SG) in the Federation Navy, currently serving as the Cheif Supply Officer on the exploration cruiser Leif Ericson.



Henson Star Cluster

Kermad is an Anurian, an amphibious race of creatures from the 3rd planet (Anura) of the Rana system,  which is located in the Henson star cluster. Three and a half feet tall and frog-like in appearance, the best way to briefly describe Kermad's (or other Anurians') appearance is to imagine what Kermit the frog would look like if he used anabolic steroids.


FSC Leif Ericson
42 officers, 450 crewmen, 150 scientists

The ship is currently at Starbase 42, preparing to undergo a "five year mission" to explore uncharted space.

The scene: The wardroom on the Ericson.


Kermad enters the room, carrying his personal access device (P.A.D.), and seats himself at one of the tables. There are three other officer already sitting at the table, two humans and a light brown fuzzy alien that resembles a bipedal Pomeranian. The most senior is Lt.Cmdr. Sojan Yossarian, the ship's executive officer. Next to him, across from d'Frok, is Dr. Heidi Graffe, the Chief Medical Officer.

The other officer, the non-human, is Lt (SG) Mackarae, the Chief of Computer Operations. Known as "Mack" to his fellow officers, he was a Madran, a dog-like race from a planet in the Txakurra system. When not seated, stood about 4 3/4 feet tall, making him the second shortest being on the ship, the shortest being d'Frok.

The steward approaches.

"The usual, Mr d'Frok?" the steward asked.

"Yes" d'Frok responded, then added "Make it a double"

The steward nodded, and left.

"Had a hard day?" asked Mack while eating a plate of what appeared to be kibble covered with gravy.

" I have just spent the last 8 hours inventorying and re-inventorying the cargo holds" d'Frok said. "I have no clue what about a quarter of the stuff that was loaded onto this ship, but I am reasonably certain that it is not anything required for usage on a star cruiser. "

"You have to realize" the Executive Officer said "that this is an exploration mission. In addition to regular crewmen, we have about 150 scientist from a variety of fields, and their needs will differ from..."

"Weed whackers!"  d'Frok exclaimed.

"Excuse me?" Yossarian asked.

"Weed whackers" d'Frok repeated. "Cargo hold 35-J contains 144 weed whackers, along with an assortment of farming tools, seeds, and a dozen small vehicles that I believe to be riding lawnmowers."

Yossarian remained silent, unsure how to respond.

"Seriously" d'Frok continued "our ongoing mission: to seek out new life, new civilizations. and to boldly landscape their lawns?"

"OK" Yossarian finally said. "That was no doubt a mistake"

"You think?" d'Frok said sarcastically.

"It was no doubt intended to be delivered to an agricultural colony and got loaded on board in error. Contact the starbase Supply Officer and see how the issue can be rectified."

"Somewhere" Mack commented "there is an Ag-station trying to figure out why they were sent hyperdrive coils."

Dr. Graffe laughed at Mack's comment. d'Frok turned towards her, looking at her unamused.

"You find all this funny?" he asked.

He pressed on his P.A.D. and, after bringing up the desired document, held it up for her to read.

"Medical hold 8" d'Frok announced.

After reading for a moment. her face displayed concern.

"These are veterinary supplies!" she exclaimed.

"Apparently" d'Frok said "if the strange new worlds are inhabited by hostile races, Starfleet expects us to spay and neuter them."

"What means neuter" Mack asked.

d'Frok quickly explained it to him. Mack's facial features showed alarm. Being a canine life form, the concept of neutering seemed to effect him more than normal. d'Frok could not be certain due to his fur, but he believed that the blood had drained from Mack's face.

A Jowshwe,
with a twist of lime

At that moment the steward returned with d'Frok's drink, a Jowshwee. The Jowshwee was brackish green liquor that smelled reminiscent of stagnant water. d'Frok preferred his straight up, with a twist of lime.  He swallowed half the drink in a single gulp.

"You got mail" the steward said, setting a comm-card next to his drink. "From your homeworld."

d'Frok picked it up, and inserted the comm-card into his personal access device, and examined the screen.

"From your family?" Mack asked.

"No, from the Anurian Revenue Service"

"Uh-oh, tax time" Graffe commented.

d'Frok read the message, then his face suddenly showed surprise.

"Great Bird of the Galaxy!" d'Frok exclaimed. "Check this out: The sum of $11,038 has been deposited to your account."

He downed the rest of his drink, and called for another.

"Is that your refund?" the Doctor asked

"Refund?" d'Frok asked. "Refund from what?"

"From your income taxes"

"Anura does not have taxes."

"So how does your government pay it's expenditures?" Graffe inquired. "Where does it get the money?"

"Investment portfolios" d'Frok stated. "Stocks, bonds, commodities, precious metals, etc."

"So what is the $11, 038?"

"That's my dividend" d'Frok said. "My government had a very profitable year."

The Doctor looked confused.

"If I follow this correctly" she said, "if your government makes money, everyone get a check?"

"Of course. As citizens of Anura, we are all entitled to a share of the profits. Doesn't your government issue dividends?"

"No" the Doctor said. "In fact, every year we are required to pay a percentage of our income to the government."

"Seriously?" d'Frok exclaimed. "You mean your government doesn't make profit?" he asked.

"No." the Doctor answered

"In fact" Yossarian added "our government is currently running a 16 trillion dollar deficit."

d'Frok looked startled.

"Sixteen trillion?" he asked.

Yossarian and Graffe both nodded.

"Seriously?" d'Frok asked. "And you re-elect these weasels???"