Even more conversations with my dogs:
ME: Why?
MACKY: So I can make a call.
Duh.
ME: Who are you calling?
MACKY: The Juice-O-Matic™ people.
ME: Why?
As if that should have been obvious.ME: But you don't drink juice.
MACKY: I know, but if we call in the next 30 minutes, they will include 12 space-age designed juice glasses, at no extra charge.
ME: We already have glasses, and we don't need a juicer.
MACKY: I also need your credit card. Hurry! Operators are standing-by to take our call.
After being told they had to wear coats when going outside for our daily walk to the park:MACKY: Why do we have to wear these?
ME: Because it's cold outside.
Sarah enters the living room.SARAH: Does this outfit make me look fat?
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| Elton Pom |
ME: What's wrong with it?
MACKY: I look stupid.
ME: You look handsome.
MACKY: I look gay. People are going to think I am a gay dog.
ME: No they aren't.
FREEDOM: Are there any "gay" dogs?
MACKY: Poodles.
SARAH: Poodles aren't gay.
FREEDOM: They just look like it.
MACKY: That's because people make them wear stupid sweaters. You can't look tough in a sweater.
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| Eastside Pomz |
FREEDOM: Maybe if Dad got us matching jackets, people would think we are tough.
MACKY: How would that make us look tough?
FREEDOM: They'd think we were in a gang.
MACKY: Yeah! Eastside Pomz!
SARAH: You guys are stupid.
Macky Rae, my youngest dog, won a goldfish at the county fair.
MACKY: Dad! I think my goldfish is sick!ME: What's wrong with him.
MACKY: He keeps having seizures! I think he is a polectic.
I assumed he meant "epileptic".
MACKY: Because he flops around a lot.
I lean over and examine the goldfish.ME: He seems OK to me.
MACKY: Wait until I take him out of the bowl, then you will see!
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FREEDOM: Or ride motorcycles.
MACKY: Do you know why we do not play golf?
ME: Why?
MACKY: Because we can not hold golf clubs because we do not have thumbs.
ME: Is that why dogs don't ride motorcycles?
FREEDOM: No. That's because our legs are to short.
MACKY: I wonder what they would do if a group of dogs rode up carrying golf clubs?
FREEDOM: They'd probably call the SWAT team.
I enter the living room. Sarah is watching Oprah.
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| I found a page at Life and Dog called Juicing For Dogs. OK, maybe they do drink juice. |
ME: Has the mail come?
SARAH: About an hour ago.
ME: What was that?A loud whirring sound comes from the kitchen.
SARAH: The boys are making juice.
ME: When did we get a juicer?
SARAH: About an hour ago.
From the kitchen:
MACKY: Hey, Dad! Can we have this left over lasagna?
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