Dances With Dogs: Rudolph Announces Retirement

Rudolph Ukkonen

In a press conference held at the Helsinki Hilton, Rudolph "the Red-Nosed Reindeer" announced that he would be retiring at the end of the 2013 Christmas season.

"It has truly been an honor, not only to be part of Santa's team, but to have been the lead reindeer. But I feel that it is time to step down and allow a younger reindeer to take over."

Rudolph is best remembered as the young reindeer who, during the "foggy Christmas Eve" of 1964, was instrumental in preventing the cancellation of Christmas by providing navigational assistance to Santa, who would not have otherwise been able to deliver gifts that year.

Arvid Dingle
Public Relations
North Pole, Inc.

A spokes~~man~~elf for the North Pole, Arvid Dingle, said that Rudolph would be missed after his retirement, but that Santa Claus understands and supports his decision to step down.

When asked by reporters if Rudolph's retirement will have any impact on navigation and delivery of presents, Mr. Dingle stated that:

"The advancement of aerospace navigational systems, especially GPS, has helped improved deliveries on Christmas eve. It would take the most extreme weather to force us to postpone, or even cancel Christmas. The likelihood of such a storm is remote."

Dingle also indicated that contingency plans existed, but did not elaborate on what they were.

Hermey currently serves as the President

of the Arctic Gay and Lesbian Coalition.

"It is sad to see him go" said Dr. Hermey Hammaslääkäri DDS, head of the North Pole Dental Facility. "He has truly been an inspiration to everyone, especially those with perceived disabilities. He is the one who not only inspired me to pursue my interest in dentistry, but to give me the courage to admit to my true sexual orientation."

Others associated with the North Pole expressed sadness with Rudolph's decision, but were also supportive.

Rudolph is the last remaining member of the "classic" line-up. The other eight members of the "foggy Christmas eve" team have all retired, with the exception of Dancer, who died in 2008 from antlerean cancer.

Rudolph and his wife, Clarice

Rudolph and his wife, Clarice, have purchased a condominium at Porokylä, a retirement community for reindeer outside of Rovaniemi in Lapland.

Although retired, Rudolph and his wife will still continue to be part of the Marine's Misfit Toys for Tots program.

According to the North Pole website, the official reindeer line-up for 2013 is:

Leonard (21st year)
Dasher, Jr. (13th year)
Ida (8th year)
Chico (5th year)
Ole (3rd year)
Bettie (2nd year)
Gustav (1st year)
Sven (1st year)

Veteran reindeer Furgussen was forced to withdraw from the line-up after he injured his knee last week during reindeer games. This would have been Fergussen's eighth consecutive year.

Arvid Dingle
Public Relations
North Pole, Inc.

Also removed from the line-up was Wilhelm, who was suspended after testing positive for drug usage. Arvid Dingle (Spokeself for North Pole Enterprises) decline to comment on Wilhelm specifically, but did make a general statement regarding drug usage:

"The North Pole has a policy of zero-tolerance regarding illegal drug usage. Anyone caught using controlled substances is automatically placed on the Naughty List"

When asked how this policy applied to Colorado and Washington State, where recreational use of marijuana is now legal, Mr. Dingle said the matter was still "under study."