With Independence Day coming up, I thought I should at least say something relevant. But how do you top last years Barbecuing, Beer, and the Fourth of July?
Ever heard of a micronation?
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The Principality of Sealand, located in
the North Sea off the coast of Suffolk,
England (UK),consists of what was a
former Sea Fort from the World War 2.
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A micronation, sometimes referred to as a model country or new country project, is an entity that claims to be an independent nation or state but is not officially recognized by world governments or major international organizations.
Micronations are distinguished from imaginary countries and from other kinds of social groups (such as eco-villages, campuses, tribes, clans, sects, and residential community associations) by expressing a formal and persistent, even if unrecognized, claim of sovereignty over some physical territory.
Several micronations have issued coins, flags, postage stamps, passports, medals, and other items, which are rarely accepted outside of their own community.
The smallest micronation that I know of (and the shortest lived) is, or was, the Canine Democratic Republic.
It all started when the dogs decided that they wanted to go to the park.
And for those of you who do not know, my dogs are: Freedom (oldest), Sarah (female) and Macky Rae (youngest).My dog's love going to the park.
However, I had other plans for the day, such as grocery shopping. The dogs got upset, and started complaining. Nothing I said would settle them down, so finally I had to come up with a clever way to end the discussion.
"We'll vote on it." I said. "All in favor of going to the park raise your hand."
"Dad" Macky told me. "We don't have hands"
"O.K." I said. "We'll vote on it. All in favor of going to the park raise your hand. Or paw."
Three paws came up."All opposed?"
And I raised my hand."Looks like I win."
"Hey!" Macky yelled.
"You didn't win" Sarah said.
"I did too" I insisted.
"Dad" Freedom told me. "You only got one vote, yours. There's three of us, and we voted for the park. That means you lose - three to one."
"Yeah!" Macky added.
"But you are forgetting one very important thing" I said.
"What's that?" Freedom asked.
"In this country, you have to be at least eighteen years old to vote."
My dogs are seven, five, and three."So the only vote that counted was mine, and I voted against the park"
"That is not fair!" Macky howled.
"It's in the constitution" I said.
I thought I was rather clever, and continued to think so as I was off running my errands.
With Independence Day coming up, the History Channel has been showing a variety of programs about the Declaration of Independence, American Revolution, and those persons involved in one, the other, or both. And we watched as many of them as we could. As you are probably aware (if you have been following this blog) that my dogs enjoy educational programs. Especially Macky Rae.Sarah not as much, but we checked out a copy of The Patriot, so she was happy.But all this educational material may have given them some ideas.
Not George.
Trivia question: Who was the first president of the United States?
No, it wasn't George Washington.
Answer at the end of this blog entry.
When I returned from the store, I was stopped in the doorway by Sarah.
SARAH: Sir, May I see your passport?
ME: My what?
SARAH: Your passport.
ME: Why do I need a passport?
SARAH: You must have a passport when you cross an international boundary?
ME: Excuse me?
SARAH: You are no longer in the united States.
ME: Then where am I?
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| Canine Democratic Republic. |
ME: What is that?
SARAH: Our new country.
ME: I don't have a passport.
SARH: Then you can't come in
ME: But I live here.
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The "Che" hat was first featured
in The Call of the Wild. |
Immediately, Macky Rae emerged from the back room, wearing his "Che Guavara" beret.SARAH: This man doesn't have a passport.
MACKY: Then he can't come in
SARAH: But he says he lives here...
MACKY: He still needs a passport.
SARAH: ...and he has groceries.
MACKY: Hmmm. I'll go ask the "Chairman."
And with that, he turned around and went back into the other room.ME: The "Chairman?"
SARAH: Yes sir. "Chairman" Freedom is the leader of the interim council of the provisional government of the Canine Democratic Republic.
I was not going to ask.SARAH: He founded the revolution.
So much for "Man's best friend."
Macky returned from the other roomMACKY: The "Chairman" said that he may enter. He is to be a resident evil...
FREEDOM: [Yelling from the backroom] Resident alien!MACKY: ...and he can come and go with this.
I was given a green card. Literally. It was a green 3x5 card with a dog-print on it.It was going to me an interesting day.
What happened was this: After I left, they decided to have a meeting in order to discuss their options. They discussed their options until 11am, then took a break to watch The Price Is Right.
After The Price Is Right was over, they ate lunch, then resumed their meeting in order to discuss their options.My dogs enjoy The Price Is Right. They are also fans of Drew Carey and were very please when he was chosen to replace Bob Barker.
Which weren't many.Then, inspired by the copy of The Patriot that was sitting on the coffee table, Freedom came up with an idea.
Revolution!There logic (and you can't fault them for this) was that, since U.S. law prohibited them from voting, if they formed their own country, they could make their own laws, vote, and (in theory) go to the park.
The dogs tried to write up a declaration, but since it is hard to type with paws (and they were on a short timetable) they opted instead to print a copy of the Declaration of Independence, and where is said "King George" the crossed it out and wrote in "Dad."
They also had a "Tea Party." I discovered my canister of Earl Grey floating in Macky Rae's plastic swimming pool, along side his rubber duck.Because they knew I would be home soon, the opted to form an interim government to be governed by a three-
qe
The first order of business was to elect a chairman. The considered chairdog but decided it sounded to weird. They then voted on who would be the "Chairman."
It was a three way tie.Realizing voting wasn't going to work, they referred the matter to a sub-committee (themselves) to resolve the issue. The sub-committee (themselves) then decided to have Freedom proclaimed "Chairman" by unanimously because he came up with the idea. The sub-committee (themselves) then referred the proposal to the committee (themselves). The committee (themselves) considered the proposal, and after voting to accept the proposal, they voted (unanimously) to elect Freedom as the "Chairman."
Freedom (the "Chairman") then appointed Macky Rae as Sergeant-at-Arms (security) and Sarah as the INS agent.
And that's about as far as they had gotten when I arrived home with the groceries.It was going to me an interesting day.
You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.
~Frank Zappa
Macky had gone over to the computer, and was busy typing clicking, and growling.
ME: Are you playing ZombieLand™?
MACKY: No, I am googling.
ME: What are you googling?
MACKY: How to make beer.
ME: Why do you need to know that?
MACKY: So we can join the union.
SARAH: He means the U.N.
MACKY: That's what I said.
SARAH: We need to be a real country to join the U.N.
MACKY: So we are going to make beer.
ME: So how does making beer get you into the U.N.?
SARAH: You can't be a real country unless you have a beer.
MACKY: And an airline.
SARAH: It helps if you have some kind of a football team... MACKY: We're going to play soccer.SARAH: ...or some nuclear weapons...
MACKY: I am going to be the goalieSARAH: ...but at the very least you need a beer.
ME: And you found this information online?
SARAH: Macky found it.
ME: I don't doubt that.
I decided not to tell my canines that they were getting political information from a dead rock musician, who is best remembered for naming his kids Moon Unit, Dweezil, Ahmet and Diva Muffin.
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I wonder how they plan to come up with
an airline.
Or nuclear weapons.
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At this point, I needed a soda, so (taking my "green card" with me) I left and walked down to the Zip-E-Mart for a 48 ounce Mt. Dew. Maybe, when I got back, maybe the dogs would have got bored with the dog nation thing.
Nope.When I returned, I was stopped by Sarah, who let me in after I showed her my green card.
ME: Can I speak with the "Chairman?"
SARAH: You'll need an appointment.
ME: And how do I get an appointment?
SARAH: You ask his secretary, and if he is free, you'll get an appointment.
ME: Who is his secretary?
SARAH: That would be me.
ME: Why didn't you tell me that at the beginning.
SARAH: You didn't ask.
ME: Can I get an appointment.
SARAH: I'll see if the "Chairman" is available.
Sarah went into the back room, and returned a moment later with Macky Rae following her.SARAH: I'm afraid the "Chairman" can not see you right now. He's busy.
ME: Busy?
SARAH: Yes sir. He is currently busy contemplating the future of the Canine Democratic Republic.
ME: Contemplating?
SARAH: Yes sir, contemplating? Isn't that right Macky
MACKY: If contemplating means taking a nap, then yes he is.
SARAH: The "Chairman" is not napping, he's contemplating!
MACKY: But his eyes are closed and...
SARAH: He's contemplating!
MACKY: OK.
SARAH: Sir, you will need to make your appointment late.
What an interesting day.
Realizing that if I wanted my apartment back, I would have to come up with something clever...
No, not clever
Being clever was how this whole thing started.I was going to do something ingenious.
I decided to order a Pizza.As you may recall from the previous blog, the "revolutionaries" love pizza.
So I ordered a Pizza. And since I didn't want to go all the way to Lorenzo's, I had it delivered.Lorenzo's Supreme Meat Lover's Deluxe (their favorite) with an order of Cheezy Bread and two liters of Mountain Dew.
I paid for the pizza, and then removed a slice, and began eating it in front of them.
Noses pressed up against the glass.
One of the noses appeared in the doorway
MACKY: Hey Dad. Are you going to eat all that pizza?
ME: Yes, I am.
MACKY: That's a very big pizza.
ME: It is.
MACKY: You might need some help eating it all.
ME: I think I can handle it. Although, you know what I could do?
MACKY: [hopefully] What's that?
ME: I could eat some of it, and then put the rest in the fridge for tomorrow.
MACKY: [despondently] Yeah, I guess you could.
ME: Or, you know what else I could do?
MACKY: [hopefully] What's that?
ME: I could have Bob and Ray come over and help me eat the pizza.
Bob and Ray are a pair of Yorkshire Terriers who live across the street from us. Yorkies are not the brightest crayons in the AKC crayon box, but these two are dumb even by Yorkie standards.
Macky Rae is not fond of either one of them. He refers to them as "those two dorkies." Needless to say, suggesting that they could eat the pizza that he wanted did not sit well with him.ME: Do you think Bob and Ray like pizza?
MACKY: [depressed] Yeah, I guess so.
ME: Hey Macky.
MACKY: [less hopeful] Yeah Dad?
ME: I am thinking of starting my own country. Do you know what I am going to call it?
MACKY: [curious] No, what?
ME: The Kingdom of I like Pizza.MACKY: Really?
ME: Really. Do you want to come live in my country
MACKY: Well...
ME: And eat pizza?
MACKY: OK
That was easy. I handed Macky a slice. He began to chow down.
One down, two to go.In the window, I could see anguish in Sarah's face as she watch Macky chowing down on a slice of pizza. Sarah was struggling with the inner turmoil between loyalty to the ideological tenets of the Canine Democratic Republic and the canine instinct to eat meat.
The struggle lasted lest than thirty seconds.
Instinct won.She disappeared from the window, only to reappear in the doorway a moment later.
I removed a slice of pizza from the box, and held it towards her.
ME: Sarah, I am thinking of starting my own country....
SARAH: I heard.
Sarah came over and took (snatched) the slice from my hand, and began chowing.
Two down, one to go.Freedom held on for several minutes, but with his entire nation defecting. He accepted the inevitable, and joined us for pizza.
The Canine Democratic Republic was dissolved at 7:41pm
George Washingtom was the first elected president.
John Hanson was elected President of the Continental Congress in November of 1781, and became the first president to serve a one-year term under the provisions of the Articles of Confederation. While George Washington is universally recognized by historians as the first President of the United States formed under the United States Constitution, Hanson (and seven others) served a president before the Constitution was written.
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