Shopping Dogs (Dancing with Dogs, part 1)

This is a list of dog rules. If you own a dog, you already knew most of these. I posted a similar pic on my Facebook awhile back, and my friend Marissa noted that the rules were the same for her small child. Dogs are essentially the same as children, with the benefit that dogs will remain children and not become teenagers.

My three dogs follow me around like obedient children, for no other reason than they think I am a fairly cool human. And the occasional treat is a bonus, especially if it is derived from a pig (or some other "tasty" animal).

There willingness to follow can humorous, and a problem on occasion. Convenience stores are fun - the look on peoples faces when they realize that there are three small dogs with their noses pressed against the glass door looking in is often funny, as is the comments that may follow.

Problematic too. Just the other day I attempted to do some quick shopping at a local grocery store. I was with a friend and her children, and she graciously agreed to watch the dogs as I went in, with her kids to pick up a few items - and treats for all the kids, 4 and 2 legged alike. Well, I had just selected a tray of eggs that were acceptable (i.e. unbroken) when the announcement over the intercom requested that the "owner of three small dogs please come to the self-checkout."

My first thought was Heidi was watching my dogs. My second thought was "what are the odds that someone else came to the store with three little dogs?" Not very good. It had to be my kids, and as I reached the self-checkout, the store manager was herding Sarah (my female) out the door towards Heidi and the boys, who had been placed in a shopping cart. The boys, not Heidi.

The kids decided to follow me in, and after entering the store, were unable to locate me. My scent, no doubt, had been masked by the alluring smell of fresh pizza (topped with pig derivatives) coming from the deli.

Knowing my kids, had they not been apprehended upon entry, it would have been conceivably possible that I would have come around the aisle and found them pushing a shopping cart loaded with hot dogs and pig products. Such are my kids. But I digress.

So, how hard can it be to watch three little dogs??? I was about to ask Heidi this question, when I realized that I had just lost her kids in the grocery store.

They were quickly located, pushing a shopping cart full of sugar-based products.

Children are essentially dogs, that eventually become teenagers.