Where are the Aliens?

On a clear night, my dogs and I like to go outside and look at the stars. Especially during the colder month. Not that we like to go outside and freeze our tails. Au contraire, but it is in the colder month that or favorite constellation, Orion the Hunter, can be seen.

Orion is the most readily recognized constellation, perhaps the most well know, and in the opinion of my youngest dog, Macky Rae, it is the awesomest of the constellations. If you have never seen it, go check it out. And I don't mean look it up on Wikipedia, actually go outside and look. But wait until it gets dark - it works better that way.

Macky Rae loves the story of Orion (that you can look up on  Wikipedia, and he never gets tired of hearing it (although I get tired of telling it, sometimes).

Being a dog, Macky Rae is fond of the fact that Orion is a dog owner. If you look left of Orion, there are two bright stars, Sirius and Procyon, which are also know as "the dog stars" - although Macky (being only 2 years old, as well as being a dog), having  problems pronouncing Sirius and Procyon, calls them "Big Dan" and "Little Anne" (something from one of my girlfriend's movies that he watched).

The other evening, while out stargazing, Macky Rae looked up at me and asked "Hey Dad, are there really Aliens in space?

"I don't know" I replied. "But I hope so."

"Me too," he responded "otherwise space is going to be very boring."

Macky Rae enjoys science, and is a big fan of Star Trek, and Science Fiction in General. He is also fond of Dog Movies, "1950s Era Black and White Giant Insect Films," and (thanks to Aunt Amy) Zombie Flicks. And what Macky Rae wants to know (as do many of us) is this: is there anybody out there?

Are there really aliens?

 

Scientist have looked and listen for evidence of intelligent life in space, and so far they have come up with nothing. Actually, that's not completely true. There is evidence of intelligent life on a planet found orbiting a class G2 star. Known as "The Earth," scientists and philosophers debate as to whether the dominant life form there is actually intelligent (or even dominant).

It is probable that there are other planets out there, and that they could (under the right conditions) support life. And if they could support life, life could evolve into intelligent life. We can only guess as to how often this occurs in the Galaxy, but we do know for certain that it has occurred at least once (on our planet).

We do now know that there are planets around other stars. A total of 861 such planets (in 677 planetary systems, including 128 multiple planetary systems) have been identified as of March 1, 2013. The Kepler mission has detected over 18,000 additional candidates, including potentially 262 habitable ones. In the Milky Way galaxy, it is expected that there are many billions of planets (at least one planet, on average, orbiting around each star, resulting in 100–400 billion exoplanets).

The way they detect extrasolar planets is complex, but simplified what they do is detect and measure variations in the motion and position of the star, and based on the wobble they can determine if the star has a planet (or planets). At first, they could only detect large (Jupiter sized) planets,, but as technology improved, smaller earth sized planets could be detected. Wow. They can even determine where the planet orbits, and if it is at the right distance from the star to be in the "Cinderella zone," the region around a star within which it is theoretically possible for a planet with sufficient atmospheric pressure to maintain liquid water on its surface. To close and the water boils, too far and it freezes solid. Life can only exist between these two limits: not too hot, not too cold, just right.

But a question I have is this: if we can find planets billions and billions of miles away, why did it take so long to find Osama Bin Laden? If NASA had turned the Hubble telescope around, we would have had that sumbitch before the twin towers stopped smoking.

The are estimated to be as many as 400,000,000,000 planets in the Milky Way Galaxy. It's a big number, until you you compare it to the national debt. If only 1 in 100 had a planet that could support life, we are left with 4,000,000,000. If 1 in 100 had life, we have 40,000,000. And if only 1 in 100 had intelligent life, we have 400,000 alien races which could build a culture that could venture out into space.

So, where are the aliens?

 

Star Trek, and Science Fiction in general, promised us aliens. OK, not exactly promised, but implied that we would be meeting aliens soon. So far, I have not met so much as one alien. In our calculations (above) we arrived at 400,000 aliens. Where are they? and why have they not contacted us?

 

It is possible that we are the first to venture off our planet of birth and venture out into space. After all, someone has to be first, but the odds are against it (400,000 to 1).

 

Erich von Däniken, author of Chariots of the Gods (and other books) believes that the aliens have already been here, and left - and that it was ancient astronauts that influenced our ancient mythology. And it was the they, not humans, who built such monumental feats as the Great Pyramids. His "proof," however, was flimsy and (in some cases) fraudulent. So his theory is discarded, and we resubmit the theory that ancient Egyptians built the pyramids.

Some believe that aliens are here, and that the government is hiding them. Considering what gets leaked to the press, I doubt that the government could hide something as big as aliens.

Or perhaps they are here hiding from us. Or hiding in plain site. There are some parts of the larger cities where an alien could easily go unnoticed amongst the "freaky people" (or perhaps the "freaky people" are the aliens).

So, where are the aliens?

I have a theory:
Any alien species that could cross the vast distances between stars would have to be more advanced than our own. Consider the technological differences between now and 1913. And that was a difference of only 100 years. Aliens would be hundreds, thousands, maybe tens of thousands of years more advanced than us.

Such a race that could travel the vast distances between the stars would not have to land on the Earth, or even contact us. All they would need to do is tap into one of our communication satellites and download the Internet. All of it, and in less than a minute! Being hundreds, thousands, or tens of thousands of years more advanced than us, their computers are also more advanced.

After downloading the Internet, they would use their super computer to analyze the Internet. This will take them about a day, unless they return to their homeworld and use their super duper computer,  in which case the analysis will only require two hours. Either way homo sapiens (humans) would be assessed - based entirely on our web pages!

This is what bothers me. Consider the Internet, and just how much porn sites there are available. Not just good porn, but bad porn, and icky porn, and worse. The aliens will see this and decide we are a planet of deviants.

This may already have occurred!

Somewhere, just beyond the orbit of Pluto, they may have left a warning beacon, transmitting to other aliens who may approach our solar system:  Attention! In accordance with Megan's Law, be advises that the inhabitants of the third planet have been classified as sexual deviants.

If  we ever discover interstellar travel and meet aliens, we won't be allowed near their children.