Warning: Although this blog entry is not one of the Bible as Comedy series, it does contains material that might be considered offensive to narrow minded Christian fanatics (NMCFs). If you are a NMCF you might want to skip this and maybe go to a non-offensive website.
Still here? Good!
My Uncle Theo was, for many years, a member of his local school board. Back in the 1980s, one of the controversies was images of the 10 commandments being displayed in public schools. The Supreme Court ruled that it violated separation of church and state and thus they needed to be removed.
Uncle Theo was a good God-fearing christian. The only thing he feared more that God was my Aunt Claire. So when the chairman of the school board announced that all that the 10 commandments were to be removed, he objected.
THEO: Who's bright idea was that?CHAIRMAN: The Supreme Court.THEO: So why do we need to take them down?CHAIRMAN: They might be considered offensive.THEO: To who? Everyone in this town is Methodists.AGNES DALRYMPLE : Not everyone. The Cohens are Jewish.
Agnes Dalrymple,
recording secretary for
the school board.THEO: Jews are where the 10 commandments came from! Seriously, who are we offending? There aren't any Buddhist in our town.CHAIRMAN: It don't matter. The commandments must come down.THEO: That's ridiculous. Next thing you know they will be telling us no praying in the class rooms.JASPER WOODWICK: Well, actually...
THEO: Don't say it!CHAIRMAN: Next item on the agenda: Theft has increased in the high-school. Any suggestions on a remedy?THEO: Maybe we could put up signs in the hallways that say Thou shall not steal?
The Ten Commandments, also known as the Decalogue, are a set of biblical principles relating to ethics and worship, which play a fundamental role in Judaism and Christianity. They include instructions to worship only God and to keep the sabbath, and prohibitions against idolatry, blasphemy, murder, theft, dishonesty, and adultery. Different groups follow slightly different traditions for interpreting and numbering them. According to the story in Exodus, God inscribed them on two stone tablets, which he gave to Moses on Mount Sinai.
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According to the Book of Exodus, Moses was born in a time when his people, the Children of Israel, were increasing in numbers and the Egyptian Pharaoh was worried that they might help Egypt's enemies. Moses' Hebrew mother, Jochebed, hid him when the Pharaoh ordered all newborn Hebrew boys to be killed, and the child was adopted as a foundling by the Egyptian royal family. After killing an Egyptian slavemaster, Moses fled across the Red Sea to Midian, where he encountered the God of Israel in the form of a "burning bush".
God sent Moses back to Egypt to request the release of the Israelites. After the Ten Plagues, Moses led the Exodus of the Israelites out of Egypt and across the Red Sea, after which they based themselves at Mount Sinai, where Moses received the Ten Commandments. After 40 years of wandering in the desert, Moses died within sight of the Promised Land.
| SARAH: 40 years? SARAH: That's ridiculous! Macky Rae, how far is it from Cairo to Jerusalem? MACKY RAE: How should I know?
SARAH: Look it up on Google.
SARAH: See? Seriously, Dad. They could have driven there in less than 5 hours. FREEDOM: They didn't have cars back then. They had to walk.SARAH: Forty years to walk 265 miles? FREEDOM: Maybe they stopped for lunch. MACKY RAE: Or for a potty break.SARAH: For 40 years? FREEDOM: That is one long potty break.
ME: That's not true.
SARAH: It is too. Just like our vacation last year.
ME: What was wrong with our vacation? I thought you liked the beach. SARAH: We were suppose to be going to Yellowstone Park so Macky could see the bears!
SARAH: The reason we went to the beach is the same reason Moses took 40 years to reach the promised land: men will not stop and ask for directions!
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Moses did many amazing things such as:
- Talked to God
- Brought 10 plagues down on the Pharaoh
- Freed the Israelites from slavery
- Parted the Red Sea
- And unparted it on the Egyptian army which, according to Macky Rae, is the most awesomest part of the movie
- Received the Ten Commandments from God
- Led "God's Chosen People" to the Promised Land (Although Sarah doesn't think this is as amazing as everyone else does)
MACKY: And he turned water into wine!FREEDOM: That was JesusMACKY: Oh, yeah. But I bet he could have if he wanted too.
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| But Moses never went up against the Supreme Court. |
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but he never went up against the Supreme Court.
There are many people who believe the ten commandments are the basis for our laws and legal system, but this is incorrect. They will tell you this, citing the fact that all our founding fathers were all Christians, but this proves nothing except the saying that even if a million people say something, it is still wrong.
OK, smartie. Where did our legal system come from?
If you may recall, we were originally British colonists, and therefore used the British legal system. When we revolted, we used the existing (British) legal system, with a few modifications.
Yeah? So they based their legal system on the ten commandments. After all, the British were Christians as well.Not originally. If you remember from history class, Britain was invaded in the 5th century by Angles, Saxons, and a variety of other pagans who brought there legal system with them from Germany. Thus, the foundations of our legal system are not biblically based, but rather based on the legal system of heathens!
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Taken as a whole (and derived from a religious text) the ten commandments are unconstitutional (the violate separation of church and state). But how would each commandment stand by themselves? If each of them, one by one on their own merits, where reviewed by the nine honorable justices of the Supreme Court?
- Thou shalt have no other gods before me
Violation of the 1st Amendment, Freedom of Religion (Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof). - Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image
Violation of the 1st Amendment, Freedom of Religion (see above). - Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain
Violation of the 1st Amendment, Freedom of Religion (partially) and Freedom of Speech (kind of). Although profanity is considered free speech, you can't yell @#$%!!! in a crowded theater. - Remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy
Violation of the 1st Amendment, Freedom of Religion. Blue laws were once common in the United States. The Supreme Court have held blue laws as constitutional numerous times due to secular reason even though the origin of the blue laws were for religious purposes. But strictly for religious reasons, it would be held unconstitutional. - Honour thy father and thy mother - upheld (I think). This one is iffy, but if such a law was passed, I can't think of a constitution ground for it being overturned, except (maybe) freedom of speech.
- Thou shalt not kill - upheld
- Thou shalt not commit adultery - upheld. Adultery is a criminal offense in 23 states.
- Thou shalt not steal - upheld
- Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbour - upheld. Perjury ("false witnessing" in a court of law) is illegal in all jurisdictions within the United States.
- Thou shalt not covet - upheld. Conspiracy to deprive your neighbor's house, wife, manservant, maidservant, ox, ass, or any thing that is thy neighbour's is a crime.
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| Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances. - 1st Amendment, U.S. Constitution |
As a whole, in addition to being unconstitutional on religious grounds, the ten commandments would have no legal standing as neither God nor Moses are/were elected officials.
In fact, neither could hold political office in the United States as neither are citizens of this country.
Joshua Ben Joseph
vs
The National Bible Publishing Company
Ever noticed the copyright notice in the front of the Bible? Unless yours is a King James version, there will be a notice like
Copyright © 2013 National Bible Publishing Co (all rights reserved)followed by a warning that explains what happens if you violate the copyright. But how can someone copyright the Bible? They can't. What is copyrighted is the translation.
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| Other countries have similar laws, and most countries worldwide adhere to the Berne Convention regarding intellectual property rights. |
Key words: "life, plus 70 years."
See where I am going with this?
Christianity has become a very popular religion in the past 2000 years. In the United States, over 85% of the population claims to believe in Christianity (although you sometimes wonder considering the overall behavior of Americans). Worldwide, over 2 billion people adhere to one form of Christianity or another, all of them unified in the belief that Jesus is the living, breathing Son of God.
Now do you see where I'm going with this?
If the Son of God is still alive, then his rights to the Bible are still valid. In other words, the Bible is not public domain.
God has blessed us with an abundance of many things in this country, and one of them is lawyers. All it would take is one lawyer to file a claim in court, suing the The National Bible Publishing Company (et al.) on behalf of the Savior over back royalties, and the next think you know we have a major law suit.
Don't think it would work?
Keep in mind that (usually) a case is not decided by the judge, but a jury of people who are (usually) neither judges, lawyers, or members of the legal profession. If a lawyer were to file such a lawsuit in the bible belt, it wouldn't be that hard to find 12 people who believe that the Son of God is alive and well, and entitled to back royalties.
In fact, in the bible belt, it would hard to find 12 that didn't.
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| Most of the clipart courtesy of Phillip Martin. |
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